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Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people but things they do not really need? Do you think this is good thing? v.6

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people but things they do not really need? Do you think this is good thing? v. 6
In today’s time, people have a tendency to replace their old belongings with the new ones unnecessarily. The media has played a significant role in influencing people’s purchasing pattern of replacing old functional items with unwanted new ones. Additionally, the prolonged use of an item also directly impacts this pattern. However, impact of such influences should be minimized to eliminate unnecessary overhead expenses. Tendency of replacing old products with new ones is usually noticed under the influence of media or when people are bored of using it. It has been observed that the media ( Internet, televisions and newspaper) play an important role in disseminating information across the society. Advertising newly launched product through well renowned celebrity influences purchasing choices and patterns of a common man. For example, many people especially youngsters tend to change their mobile phones as soon as there is launch of new models in the market. In addition, the boredom caused by prolonged use of a product also contributes in replacing an old item frequently. Consequently, this temptation of replacing belongings results in unwanted expenses. This is not unusual for people to spend beyond their budget on unwanted items; as it has been seen while shopping for grocery, most picked up item is the one which is highly advertised irrespective of it’s price. In such cases, unwanted expenses are incurred by picking up a priced commodity over other available cheaper, similar quality commodity. In summary, the influential media and boredom are the key factors which contribute to the unnecessary replacement of old items with new ones. If constant scrutiny of such pattern is not done, then it might result in unwanted expenditure.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to replace their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
belongings with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
unnecessarily
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has played a significant role in influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
of replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Additionally
, the prolonged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
also
directly
impacts this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
.
However
, impact of such influences should
be minimized
to eliminate unnecessary overhead expenses.

Tendency of replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
products with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is
usually
noticed under the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
using it. It has
been observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Internet, televisions and newspaper) play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in disseminating information across the society. Advertising
newly
launched product through well renowned celebrity influences purchasing choices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patterns
of a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
youngsters tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mobile phones as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as there is launch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
models in the market.
In addition
, the boredom caused by prolonged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a product
also
contributes in replacing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
frequently
.

Consequently
, this temptation of replacing belongings results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
expenses. This is not unusual for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend beyond their budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
; as it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
while shopping for grocery, most picked up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is the one which is
highly
advertised irrespective
Did you mean "of its price"?
of it’s price
. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
expenses
are incurred
by picking up a priced commodity over other available cheaper, similar quality commodity.

In summary, the influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and boredom are the key factors which contribute to the unnecessary replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. If constant scrutiny of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
is not done, then it might result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwanted
expenditure.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people but things they do not really need? Do you think this is good thing? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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