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Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v.2

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 2
Environmental pollution is currently the biggest challenge facing the world today. A staggering increase in the number of cars all over the world is believed to be the main culprit as opposed to others who reckon that a substantial contribution to the cause of pollution is made by industries. Through the first lens, the growing demand for using cars in urban areas directly gives rise to air pollution. The fumes from cars’ exhaust comprise dangerous gases which cause environmental problems as they spread. Vehicle emissions result in increasing the level of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Hence, these gases trap the sun’s heat in the atmosphere leading to an increase in the temperature of the earth. Many scientists reckon that burning fossil fuels such as gasoline contribute to a high level of greenhouse gases, leading to global warming. Besides, the other contamination could be excessive car noise resulting from road traffic. Air pollution can be harmful to human as it is a major cause not only of hearing loss, but also of heart disease, learning problems in children and sleep disturbance. On the other hand, most of the contaminants stem from industries, which is the rampant cause of pollution worldwide. Discharging various industrial waste products into water bodies results in water, soil and air pollution. Industrial waste is one of the main causes of water pollution, which is dumped directly into oceans and seas. Water pollution is a serious threat to humans, animals, and aquatic life. By far the biggest consequence of water pollution is the death of aquatic creatures, which can disrupt the entire food chain. To sum up, although cars and Industries both are the main factors in contributing to pollution, in my opinion, humans are more prone to toxic water and degrading water quality with dumping industrial waste is the main culprit.
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is
currently
the biggest challenge facing the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. A staggering increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
all over the world
is believed
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
culprit as opposed to others who reckon that a substantial contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is made
by industries.

Through the
first
lens, the growing demand for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in urban areas
directly
gives rise to air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The fumes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars’
exhaust comprise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
environmental problems as they spread. Vehicle emissions result in increasing the level of carbon dioxide and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
in the atmosphere.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
trap the sun’s heat in the atmosphere leading to an increase in the temperature of the earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists reckon that burning fossil fuels such as gasoline contribute to a high level of greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
, leading to global warming.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
contamination could be excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
noise resulting from road traffic. Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can be harmful to human as it is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of hearing loss,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of heart disease, learning problems in children and sleep disturbance.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most of the contaminants stem from industries, which is the rampant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
worldwide. Discharging various industrial waste products into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, soil and air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Industrial waste is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, which
is dumped
directly
into oceans and seas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a serious threat to humans, animals, and aquatic life. By far the biggest consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the death of aquatic creatures, which can disrupt the entire food chain.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and Industries both are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
factors in contributing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, in my opinion, humans are more prone to toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and degrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
quality with dumping industrial waste is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
culprit.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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