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Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v.7

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v. 7
Most people argue that increased amounts of violence shown in movies causes grave social issues. The main problem caused by this is domestic abuse, and the possible solution is imposing a ban on movies which contain enormous amounts of brutality. This essay will first discuss the mental and physical torture that a victim endures because of household offence and how a ban on such movies can create a healthy and happy environment at home. Violence portrayed in films can cause individuals to engage in acts of brutality themselves. Movies today are one of the prime sources of entertainment for the general masses and some people go to extreme lengths to imitate the characters portrayed by their favourite celebrities. They tend to look like them, act like them and behave like them. Furthermore, when they watch a character that performs domestic abuse, they tend to copy this behaviour and eventually normalize it. As a result, the victim of this offence suffers mental and physical torture. For example, the Times of India reported that domestic violence has risen by 24% in the state of Haryana in the year 2016, when five movies containing household misbehaviour were released. Imposing a prohibition on movies containing brutality can significantly reduce household abuse. This is because when people see less of something, they tend to do less of it as well. Alternatively, movies that portray peaceful families and good relationships can promote a healthy and serene environment at home. To illustrate, the government of the state of Kerala, India had completely banned violent movies in the year 2008 and the state witnessed a 17% decrease in the first year of the ban alone. In conclusion, violence in films leads to domestic offence and this problem can be solved by boycotting such movies.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that increased amounts of violence shown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
causes grave social issues. The main problem caused by this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
abuse, and the possible solution is imposing a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which contain enormous amounts of brutality. This essay will
first
discuss the mental and physical torture that a victim endures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of household
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and how a ban on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can create a healthy and happy environment at home.

Violence portrayed in films can cause individuals to engage in acts of brutality themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are one of the prime sources of entertainment for the general masses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to extreme lengths to imitate the characters portrayed by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities. They tend to look like them, act like them and behave like them.
Furthermore
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a character that performs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
abuse, they tend to copy this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
eventually
normalize it.
As a result
, the victim of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
suffers mental and physical torture.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
violence has risen by 24% in the state of Haryana in the year 2016, when five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
containing household
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
were released
.

Imposing a prohibition on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
containing brutality can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
household abuse. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
less of something, they tend to do less of it
as well
.
Alternatively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that portray peaceful families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships can promote a healthy and serene environment at home. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the state of Kerala, India had completely banned violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the year 2008 and the state witnessed a 17% decrease in the
first
year of the ban alone.

In conclusion
, violence in films leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and this problem can
be solved
by boycotting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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