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Many people believe that the government of a country should pay for health care and education of its citizens. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion. v.1

Many people believe that the government of a country should pay for health care and education of its citizens. with this statement? Give your opinion. v. 1
Today, numerous people believe that government should take initiative to provide free basic health care and education facilities to its citizens. It is the bitter truth that in our country, there are a large number of people who are under below the poverty line and they can't even afford basic necessities for their survival. Government should focus on such critical issues and should provide free education to those children who have poor background and free health facilities to those who can't afford to get treatment in private hospitals. Irrefutably, every citizen pay taxes to the government and that amount shall be utilized by the government to develop the education and healthcare sectors. For example: CM Arvind Kejriwal of Delhi passed a law in which any accident occurred within the Delhi state that person get medical treatment free of cost. However, according to the previous year report it is stated that most of the funds provided by the government are utilized by the corrupted politicians. Government should take strict action to ban all those unethical elements. Moreover, government should provide loan facilities for higher education at zero rate of interest. It will not only assist the student in their higher studies, but also increase the literacy rate of a country. The fair amount of people is depending on government facilities which is quite risky for them all instead of relying on government facilities, they all need to save sufficient fund for their future health issues. For example: I have personally taken life insurance scheme which will assist me in my health issue treatments. In conclusion, the government ensures that every citizen should get basic facilities by eliminating middlemen. However, citizen should also take the initiative to arrange sufficient amount of fund for their future welfare purposes either not totally relying on government benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take initiative to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities to its citizens.

It is the bitter truth that in our country, there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are under below the poverty
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
line and
they can't even afford
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
for their survival.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should focus on such critical issues and should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to those children who have poor background and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities to those who can't afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treatment in private hospitals.
Irrefutably
, every citizen pay taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and that amount shall
be utilized
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare sectors.
For example
: CM Arvind
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kejriwal
of Delhi passed a law in which any accident occurred within the Delhi state that person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medical treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost.

However
, according to the previous year report it
is stated
that most of the funds provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are utilized
by the corrupted politicians.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should take strict action to ban all those unethical elements.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide loan facilities for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at zero rate of interest. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
assist the student in their higher studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the literacy rate of a country. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facilities which is quite risky for them all
instead
of relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facilities, they all need to save sufficient fund for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
For example
: I have
personally
taken life insurance scheme which will assist me in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue treatments.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ensures that every citizen should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
basic facilities by eliminating middlemen.
However
, citizen should
also
take the initiative to arrange sufficient amount of fund for their future welfare purposes either not
totally
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
benefits.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the government of a country should pay for health care and education of its citizens. with this statement? Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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