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Many people believe that the current generation of children does not know how to interact socially with others. Why is this the case? What can be done to encourage more social interaction between children? v.1

Many people believe that the current generation of children does not know how to interact socially with others. Why is this the case? What can be done to encourage more social interaction between children? v. 1
Homework is a necessary evil. I don’t know many children who actually enjoy doing their homework. Nonetheless, it is beneficial to their progress and that is the reason teachers give homework. However, sometimes, children are given too much homework and in such situations it may be necessary for the parents to help them. Children should do their homework on their own. Only then will they benefit. If parents do the homework the children are not getting the intended benefits. However, there are at least a few situations where this may be necessary. Young children, especially those attending KG or primary school, will need their parents’ assistance to complete their homework and other activities. Older children may also need their parents’ help from time to time. In a country like India, children, especially those going to private schools, are burdened with too much homework. After completing their work, they get hardly any time to study. In such situations, they need the help of their parents. Just because students are doing their homework, it doesn’t mean that they are actually paying attention to what they are doing. A lot of them simply copy answers from their notebook. As a result, they aren’t gaining anything from this exercise. They need to learn the answers to score higher grades in the examination. If they spend too much time on their homework, their score will suffer. To conclude, students are supposed to do their homework on their own. However, this is not always possible because of time constraints. In such situations, parents should lend a helping hand.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Homework
is a necessary evil. I don’t know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who actually enjoy doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. Nonetheless, it is beneficial to their progress and
that is
the reason teachers give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
it may be necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

Children should do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then will they benefit.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not getting the intended benefits.
However
, there are at least a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where this may be necessary. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
those attending KG or primary school, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
assistance to complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and other activities. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to time.

In a country like India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
those going to private schools,
are burdened
with too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. After completing their work, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hardly any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students are doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
, it doesn’t mean that they are actually paying attention to what they are doing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
them
simply
copy answers from their notebook.
As a result
, they aren’t gaining anything from this exercise. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn the answers to score higher grades in the examination. If they spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
, their score will suffer.

To conclude
, students
are supposed
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
However
, this is not always possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constraints. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should lend a helping hand.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people believe that the current generation of children does not know how to interact socially with others. Why is this the case? What can be done to encourage more social interaction between children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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