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Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, to what extent do you agree and disagree. v.2

Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, v. 2
Social networking sites are occupied the creativity space in people and society. Now a days, social networking sites has changed their way of work and it is going occupy the hole time of people in this situation some people are believing social networking sites are giving a negative wave on people and society. In my perspective I completely agree with this usage of social networking sites and social media shows effect on people health, creativity and time. In this modern days, people are utilizing social networking sites for getting new contacts, comfort and mobility. This factors lead to increase the population who are addicted to social networking sites. However there by using social networking sites lead to give a chance for people to waste their working time. Not only working time but also have a chance to loss their voluble creativity in regular users. Day by day regular users are is neglecting book reading, writing books and arts because of the utility of social networking sites. On the other hand hours and hours of time spending in front of social media and networking sites leads society to wards health problems like eye site, migraine and heart problems. They are lot more backdrops that effects mankind. Day by day, people are creating new interest like making relationships with new people and unknown people. Moreover social networking sites becoming a new platform to these people. This kind of steps increased a lot in short time. Which, leads people to face legal issues by interacting with anti social elements through social media accidentally. In this scenario international e comers sites are also increased and showing drastic effect on countries economic growth. By considering the above evidence I conclude social networking sites shows a lot of negative shades on people and societ.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are occupied
the creativity space in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their way of work and it is going occupy the hole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
wave on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society. In my perspective I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health, creativity and time.

In this modern days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
contacts, comfort and mobility.
Did you mean "these"?
This
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to increase the population who
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to give a chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to waste their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a chance to loss their voluble creativity in regular users. Day by day regular users are is neglecting book reading, writing books and arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the utility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
On the other hand
hours and hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
leads society to wards health problems like eye
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, migraine and heart problems. They are lot more backdrops that effects mankind.

Day by day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
interest like making relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
platform to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This kind of steps increased a lot in short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
, leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to face legal issues by interacting with anti
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
elements through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
accidentally
. In this scenario international e comers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
also
increased and showing drastic effect on countries economic growth.

By considering the above evidence I conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
shades on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
societ
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge impact on both individual and society, v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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