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car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past three years that many cities in the world are now one big jam. how true do you think this statement is? what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v.1

car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past three years that many cities in the world are now one big jam. how true do you think this statement is? what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1
A number of people are of the opinion that minors should decide on their course of study, while some others think their parents are in the position of selecting for them. In my opinion, I believe a teenage boy or girl should be able to decide on their future career, while their parents play an advisory role when this is being decided. On one hand, many feel that adolescents should be left to select their professions. In other words, they believe teenagers ready for tertiary education should be clear about what their passions and interests are. For example, a person that wants to read law must love to read and be able to comprehend what has been read. Also, someone that is interested in going into the medical field should be able to withstand the sight of blood. On the other hand, some other people think guardians should select their career paths for them. This is largely due to the fact that a lot of the younger generation is still unclear on what they want to apply for at the University so they may need direction and some form of guidance so as not to make the wrong move. For instance, someone that has a passion for the arts, but has decided to go to the medical route. This may not work out in the long run and the parents may have themselves to blame. In my opinion, I strongly believe children should be able to make their own decisions when it comes to their course path. Firstly, this will show a sense of responsibility which will show that they are ready for the real world. Secondly, their ability to make sound judgement will be revealed. Children that have gone through elementary school should know where their interests lie. However, the parents can advise their wards and give them directions, when needed, given the fact that they are more experienced. In conclusion, the most important thing is for the children being able to make sound judgement when it comes to making serious life decisions, while the parents give them the assurance of their support and help when needed.
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that minors should decide on their course of study, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are in the position of selecting for them. In my opinion, I believe a teenage boy or girl should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to decide on their future career, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an advisory role when this is
being decided
.

On one hand,
Possible agreement error. The noun feel seems to be countable; consider using: "many feels".
many feel
that adolescents should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to select their professions. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
ready for tertiary education should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
about what their passions and interests are.
For example
, a person that wants to read law
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to read and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to comprehend what has
been read
.
Also
, someone that
is interested
in going into the medical field should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to withstand the sight of blood.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
guardians should select their career paths for them. This is
largely
due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the younger generation is
still
unclear on what they want to apply for at the University
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may need direction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of guidance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
For instance
, someone that has a passion for the arts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has decided to go to the medical route. This may not work out in the long run and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may have themselves to blame.

In my opinion, I
strongly
believe children should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their course path.
Firstly
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a sense of responsibility which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they are ready for the real world.
Secondly
, their ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sound judgement will
be revealed
. Children that have gone through elementary school should know where their interests lie.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can advise their wards and give them directions, when needed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the fact that they are more experienced.

In conclusion
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is for the children being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sound judgement when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to making serious life decisions, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give them the assurance of their support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when needed.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past three years that many cities in the world are now one big jam. how true do you think this statement is? what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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