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Many people believe that name brand items are very important. Discuss advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v.2

Many people believe that name brand items are very important. Discuss advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v. 2
In this fashionista century, brand names become the demand of the modern society. However, variety of names incorporated in the market under different brands that allured major section of the community. This notion has many positive and negative sides that are discussed in subsequent paragraphs along with my opinion. There are multifarious points that endorse the darker side of the statement. First and foremost, price of the brand items is threefold higher than the non branded product. To be specific, goods purchased under the brand names are more expensive, that can shatter the whole budget of an ordinary person. As a result, the brand items are out of pocket for a common man. To demonstrate, if a person buys a brand shoes worth 700 dollars, whereas, other person buys the same quality non branded shoes for 150 dollars then the second one saves some money for purchasing other thing. To embark with advantages of brand products, firstly, the quality matters a lot before buying any product. As in case of brands, quality is much better and the item stays longer without any damage instead of the unbranded materials. Secondly, branded items are more comfortable and looks quite impressive as compared to the local brands. Thirdly, now brand becomes the status symbol so that factor also allured people to buy these items and show their wealth to others. To illustrate, people buy expensive goods such as household items, clothing, watches etc. just to show off their wealth. To recapitulate, undeniably, every coin has two sides, similarly brand names are vital part of the life in this century. I fully agree with the advantages of having brands in our life as this provide not only comfort but also available in best quality. Even though, the positives are more so negativity can be neglected easily.
In this fashionista century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
names
become the demand of the modern society.
However
, variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
names
incorporated in the market under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
that allured major section of the community. This notion has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides that
are discussed
in subsequent paragraphs along with my opinion.

There are multifarious points that endorse the darker side of the statement.
First
and foremost, price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is threefold higher than the
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non branded
product. To be specific,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
names
are more expensive, that can shatter the whole budget of an ordinary person.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
out of pocket
for a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. To demonstrate, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
shoes worth 700 dollars, whereas, other person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non branded
shoes for 150 dollars then the second one saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for purchasing other thing.

To embark with advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
products,
firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
matters a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any product. As in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
is much better and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
stays longer without any damage
instead
of the unbranded materials.
Secondly
, branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are more comfortable and looks quite impressive as compared to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
becomes the status symbol
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that factor
also
allured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their wealth to others. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, clothing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
, every coin has two sides,
similarly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
names
are vital part of the life in this century. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
in our life as this provide not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
comfort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
available
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the best".
in best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
Even though
, the positives are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
negativity can
be neglected
easily
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that name brand items are very important. Discuss advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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