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Many people believe that it ts very important to make large amounts, of money, while. , others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your opinion. v.1

Many people believe that it ts very important to make large amounts, of money, while. , others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your opinion. v. 1
Two different perspective emerges while meticulously evaluating this issue. one perspective answers in the affirmative with utmost conviction where as other perspective denies its presence with logical reasoning. Today' s world is giving priority to earn more money. Society have class based on how much one is making money. To participate in this race people are rushing themselves. people think that money gives you not only prestige but also respect. Up to some extend this is true. celebrities having lots of money are considered as stronger candidate for films. Such celebrities getting paid more are likely to be famous in community. Its true that money drags money. If I have principle amount, I would invest it all and earn more. Many face difficult and poor childhood. this kind of situation generates mentality of earning more of cash. Due to these reasons most of people believe that getting lot is good. Satisfaction has its own definition. More money can satisfy greedy people but one like me might think that satisfaction lies within earning enough money for mundane works and satisfactory life. this type of mentality generally found in middle class where as other mentality found in ambitious personality. Going beyond community and its new classification system is necessary. To understand a standard balanced life in which we can have to keep aside money oriented approach. there are people like Dr. Baba Aamate, Social worker who earned money that will be enough for living. after having capacity to earn more money he had choose to have simple and satisfactory life. our history has proved that people will remember rich people when they are alive but they will remember altruist after their death also. Personally, I have proclivity towards the thought that earning money that satisfy basic needs of daily life is more than enough. Out there somewhere in the world there are lots of people who don’t get food to eat or chance to earn. we are living in world where we have to move on together. we can not change mentality of people but our example will be inspiring them to do so. Hence, after this holistic analysis we can clearly sea that both points have its own school of though but having satisfactory life is always better than greedy life.
Two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective emerges while
meticulously
evaluating this issue.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
perspective answers in the affirmative with utmost conviction
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
other perspective denies its presence with logical reasoning.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Today&
#039; s world is giving priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Society have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
based on how much one is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To participate in this race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rushing themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
gives you not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prestige
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
respect. Up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
this is true.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
celebrities
having lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are considered
as stronger candidate for films. Such celebrities getting paid more are likely to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in community. Its true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
drags
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If I have
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
amount, I would invest it all and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
face difficult and poor childhood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
kind of situation generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
of earning more of cash. Due to these reasons most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that getting lot is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Satisfaction has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
definition. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can satisfy greedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one like me might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that satisfaction lies within earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for mundane works and satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
generally
found in middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
found in ambitious personality. Going beyond community and its new classification system is necessary. To understand a standard balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in which we can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
aside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
oriented approach.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like Dr. Baba
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aamate
, Social worker who earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for living.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
having capacity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "chosen".
choose
to have simple and satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
our
history has proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will remember rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they are alive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will remember altruist after their death
also
.

Personally
, I have proclivity towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that satisfy basic needs of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Out there somewhere in the world there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
food to eat or chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
are living in world where we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our example will be inspiring them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Hence
, after this holistic analysis we can
clearly
sea that both points have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
school of though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is always better than greedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that it ts very important to make large amounts, of money, while. , others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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