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Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes. v.1

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes. v. 1
In this generation, reach of the people towards fast food has increased significantly. This essay will argue why demerits of this outweigh merits. This will cause rise in obesity, which will impact directly on that particular country. Despite of some advantages this is harmful for citizens. Fast food is a quick source to kill your hungriness. The youth of this generation may get addicted to this. This will make them obese and lethargic. If a person acquires ready made edible items for a long time, he/she may will never want to cook again because they are getting a meal without making any effort. Fast foods are so perilous for health. It does not contain vital nutritions because of these people would fall ill. For example, according to a study conducted at the University of Alberta, people who were getting healthy meal are more productive and industrious in compare to the people who just relied on canned items. In addition to this, the rate of development of a developing country would fall dramatically. People may become sluggish and their interest in work will lack. This generation do not even want to go out and buy meals by themselves, they are ordering foodstuffs online. This will reflect in their daily activity. This pattern would also reflect on their future child. In conclusion, despite of scanty advantages, increasing fast food consumption will reduce person`s activity and it will affect so many other parameters liked with them. Government should take some strict action against it.
In this generation, reach of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has increased
significantly
. This essay will argue why demerits of this outweigh merits. This will cause rise in obesity, which will impact
directly
on that particular country.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages this is harmful for citizens.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a quick source to kill your hungriness. The youth of this generation may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to this. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them obese and lethargic. If a person acquires
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
edible items for a long time, he/she
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "may, will", "may" or "will"?
may will
never want to cook again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are getting a meal without making any effort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
perilous for health. It does not contain vital
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would fall ill.
For example
, according to a study conducted at the University of Alberta,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were getting healthy meal are more productive and industrious in compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
relied on canned items.

In addition
to this, the rate of development of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
would fall
dramatically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may become sluggish and their interest in work will lack. This generation do not even want to go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
meals by themselves, they are ordering foodstuffs online. This will reflect in their daily activity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
pattern would
also
reflect on their future child.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
scanty advantages, increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
activity and it will affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other parameters liked with them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict action against it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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