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Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. v.3

Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. v. 3
Throughout the enormous capacity of human history, we came across countless people with extraordinary talents in art, music, sport, science and so on. However, of all these experts, some are innate with a precious gift while others were acquired, trained when they were children. Nevertheless, success is often combined with many factors including environments, the extent of practice, training methods, and indubitably, a certain level of talents. Therefore, I believe in congenital talents, which, to say the least, are the essential element to success. Mozart, an exceptional musician, showed his superb music talent when he was only three and was able to complete an exquisite symphony as he turned six. Susan Boyle, an ordinary middle-aged woman who never received any professional training as an opera singer, was able to earn a deafening standing ovation from the whole podium by singing "I had a dream", a song which would require a professional singer to pour their genuine devotion in order to reach perfection. A genetic research indicated that up to 50% of the great artists we came to recognise were born with supreme talents. These prodigies are sometimes so unfairly gifted that they will leave a ghastly gap between those who were trained to be professional and were not supposed to be outrun single-handedly. Nevertheless, people still claimed that anyone can be trained to become a professional. Jeremy Lin, a rising NBA basketball player who created "Linsanity", had grabbed the sheer opportunity to success by polishing his skills and training ever since he was a child and committed his dedication in basketball no matter what difficulty that lied ahead. Yo Yo Ma, a phenomenal musician, started his cellist training when he was only four and immersed his whole dedication into it throughout his life. These people's success is not instantaneous. Their paths to glory were established through hard work, accompanied by consistent training and still, a certain degree of innate talents. To put into conclusion, the genetic privilege could not be fooled. Whether acquired or congenital, people will always need some talent to help them reach from good to great.
Throughout the enormous capacity of human history, we came across countless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
in art, music, sport, science and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, of all these experts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are innate with a precious gift while others
were acquired
, trained when they were children.
Nevertheless
, success is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
combined with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors including environments, the extent of practice,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
methods, and
indubitably
, a certain level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
Therefore
, I believe in congenital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, which, to say the least, are the essential element to success.

Mozart, an exceptional musician,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
his superb music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
when he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three and was able to complete an exquisite symphony as he turned six.

Susan Boyle, an ordinary middle-aged woman who never received any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as an opera singer, was able to earn a deafening standing ovation from the whole podium by singing
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I had a dream
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, a song which would require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
singer to pour their genuine devotion in order to reach perfection. A genetic research indicated that up to 50% of the great artists we came to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
were born
with supreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. These prodigies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unfairly
gifted that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a ghastly gap between those who
were trained
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
and were not supposed to be outrun single-
handedly
.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
claimed that anyone can
be trained
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
. Jeremy Lin, a rising NBA basketball player who created
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linsanity
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, had grabbed the sheer opportunity to success by polishing his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
ever since he was a child and committed his dedication in basketball no matter what difficulty that lied ahead. Yo
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
Yo
Ma, a phenomenal musician,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his cellist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
when he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
four and immersed his whole dedication into it throughout his life. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's success is not instantaneous. Their paths to glory
were established
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, accompanied by consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
still
, a certain degree of innate talents.

To put into conclusion, the genetic privilege could not
be fooled
. Whether acquired or congenital,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will always need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them reach from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to great.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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