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Many people believe that in order to have clean and tidy streets in their neighbourhood, this should be the residents’ responsibility, while others think it should be the government’s duty. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many people believe that in order to have clean and tidy streets in their neighbourhood, this should be the residents’ responsibility, while others think it should be the government’s duty. v. 1
Cleanliness is essential to our lives if we must remain healthy. But many suggest that to maintain a clean environment, then every householders must take the initiative to clean their environment. Others, however, suggest that the government should be responsible for environmental sanitation. This article will discuss both views and explain while both opinions should be considered equally. It is often said that "health is wealth", so every householder must ensure that he/she keeps the environment clean, this is because it's an important aspect one must consider in order to remain healthy and maintain good hygiene. For example, few years ago in Zimbabwe, approximately 5-10% of people living in the country died as a result of cholera, which was caused by uncleanliness in the foods and water that was being consumed each day. This disaster could have been avoided if personal proper measures had been taken as regards environmental sanitation to ensure the safety and health of every individual. Therefore, residents should take proper care of themselves first by keeping their environment clean and tidy before relying on the government. The government also has a massive part to play in this aspect. It is the responsibility of the government to make sure the citizens remain healthy, this can be done by providing financial support to such environment to help keep it tidy, and also by employing workers in such environment. In conclusion, I think as long as it is the responsibility of the government to supply financial means as regards environment sanitation, every individual must ensure that cleanliness of the environment must not be joked with, if healthiness must be maintained.
Cleanliness is essential to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain healthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
suggest that to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, then every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "householder"?
householders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the initiative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Others,
however
, suggest that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for environmental sanitation. This article will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
while both opinions should
be considered
equally
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
health is wealth
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every householder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider in order to remain healthy and maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hygiene.
For example
, few years ago in Zimbabwe, approximately 5-10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
as a result
of cholera, which
was caused
by uncleanliness in the foods and water that was
being consumed
each day. This disaster could have
been avoided
if personal proper measures had
been taken
as regards environmental sanitation to ensure the safety and health of every individual.
Therefore
, residents should take proper care of themselves
first
by keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
and tidy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
relying on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
has a massive part to play in this aspect. It is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the citizens remain healthy, this can
be done
by providing financial support to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it tidy, and
also
by employing workers in such environment.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as long as it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to supply financial means as regards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
sanitation, every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that cleanliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be joked
with, if healthiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be maintained
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that in order to have clean and tidy streets in their neighbourhood, this should be the residents’ responsibility, while others think it should be the government’s duty. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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