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Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 2
Advertising is spreading quickly and become the first resource to promote products, either on billboards, television or social media. Some people believe that advertising can have negative impacts on the buyers, while others disagree and think the opposite. On one hand, several people think that many advertisements will affect negatively on customers life. First, promotions attract people to purchase un-need products, where they spend their money randomly. Second, some advertisement is for unhealthy things, that may cause health problems such as fast food, energy drinks or alcohol. Moreover, these days advertising impact badly on children’s character, thinking and attitude, due to immortal marketing. For example, energy drink companies, use power and adventure to show customers how strong they will be if they drink it. In my opinion I agree where promotions should be realistic, and government must observe rightly, what it is advertising. On the other hand, some people think that advertising attract customers and is the best way for promotion. First, the easiest service for people to stay up to date to the latest trending, such as technology and clothes, is advertisement and encourage the manufacture to sell their products. Second, advertising facilitates people lives, to buy and search for items, especially these days the availability of social media and online shops. However, promotion will increase the marketing and investment particularly in infrastructure sector and encourage people and investors to buy. For example, mobile companies, put their load to show the customer, what are the features of the mobile and what can it done to satisfy them. From my side I disagree where we should know what to do buy and be sure from the source and if the advertisement isn’t a spam. In conclusion, some people agree that advertising will cause problems, others believe that promotion is the best way to introduce products for people and won’t impact negatively. In my opinion, I think that advertising can be done in an attractive and real way, that won’t harm people and causes negative effects.
Advertising is spreading
quickly
and become the
first
resource to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, either on billboards, television or social media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that advertising can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the buyers, while others disagree and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the opposite.

On one hand, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
will affect
negatively
on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "customers'" or "customer's"?
customers
life.
First
, promotions attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, where they spend their money
randomly
. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is for unhealthy things, that may cause health problems such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, energy drinks or alcohol.
Moreover
, these days advertising impact
badly
on children’s character, thinking and attitude, due to immortal marketing.
For example
, energy drink
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
power and adventure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
how strong they will be if they drink it. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
where promotions should be realistic, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
observe
rightly
, what it is advertising.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and is the best way for promotion.
First
, the easiest service for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay up to date to the latest trending, such as technology and clothes, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and encourage the manufacture to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Second, advertising facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and search for items,
especially
these days the availability of social media and online shops.
However
, promotion will increase the marketing and investment
particularly
in infrastructure sector and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and investors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
For example
, mobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, put their load to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
, what are the features of the mobile and what can it done to satisfy them. From my side I disagree where we should know what to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and be sure from the source and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
isn’t a spam.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertising will cause problems, others believe that promotion is the best way to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and won’t impact
negatively
. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising can
be done
in an attractive and real way, that won’t harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many believe that advertising can have negative effects on customers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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