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Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience. v.2

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? v. 2
There are many possible options to pay for something, such as credit cards and cash. The credit card was designed to aid to purchase and nowadays, people are utilizing cards, because it is safer and more convenient than cash. For this reason, I believe some people could be drowning in debt with financial institutions, because they overuse the cards to buy. Therefore, to avoid this situation, financial education can help to get out of the red and demonstrate knowledge to save money. The credit card is a tool used to purchase many items, but it is very easy to lose control of spending because only at the end of the month you receive the card invoice with all your expenses made. If you are not in control of spending, this will be a difficult situation to pay when you receive the bill. Unfortunately, some people cannot pay off for many reasons such as do not have enough cash or do not have a job, as a consequence, it turns difficult to request borrowing if necessary. Almost 9 million young people own money in Brazil, in other words, 18% of people up to 20 years there are debts. The experts recommend looking for a professional to help and negotiate with the lender. Furthermore, the financial education is important independent of age to raise awareness about this subject. The experts show examples of steps to save money and avoid des necessary use of credit cards, for instance, create a list of necessary items before shopping, look for the best price in different stores and buy only when is crucial. In addition, could to avoid miscellaneous entertainment at crisis moment and keep only the essential expense, for example, rent, gas, and food. In conclusion, the credit card is an easy tool to buy, however, a trick if you do not use it appropriately. Moreover, the economic education can give this knowledge and show some strategies to manage and do not own money. This essay was also a demonstrated example of the actions to economize money.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible options to pay for something, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and cash. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
was designed
to aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is safer and more convenient than cash.
For this reason
, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be drowning in debt with financial institutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they overuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Therefore
, to avoid this situation, financial education can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the red and demonstrate knowledge to save money.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is a tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to lose control of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month you receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
invoice with all your expenses made. If you are not in control of spending, this will be a difficult situation to pay when you receive the bill. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot pay off for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash or do not have a job, as a consequence, it turns difficult to request borrowing if necessary. Almost 9 million young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in Brazil,
in other words
, 18% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up to 20 years there are debts. The experts recommend looking for a professional to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and negotiate with the lender.

Furthermore
, the financial education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
independent of age to raise awareness about this subject. The experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
examples of steps to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
des
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
,
for instance
, create a list of necessary items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
shopping, look for the best price in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when is crucial.
In addition
, could to avoid miscellaneous entertainment at crisis moment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the essential expense,
for example
, rent, gas, and food.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is an easy tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
however
, a trick if you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
appropriately
.
Moreover
, the economic education can give this knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies to manage and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay was
also
a demonstrated example of the actions to economize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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