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Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? v.5

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? v. 5
Nowadays, people can easily borrow money from banks. There are someone who is without repaying ability, and it is the reason why the problems of economy and society increase quickly. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages when people are able to use credit cards or loans easily. There are some disadvantages if people can have financial resources to easily their need. The growth of credit helps economy to be stronger, for companies sell a lot of goods. Moreover, if banks are simple to lend money, clients do not need find another financial institution, such as mafia. Other way, banks can lose chance to earn more sales because credit process are more difficult. People will be in danger by using illegal financial instruments. On the other hand, banks maybe not collect money when they have simple credit policies. People use too much money without repaying ability instead of controlling their expenditure. Consequently, crime rate will grow in society, and the economy crisis happen when there are many banks not to receive money from customers. It is so dangerous for countries having too much bad debt. An economy can be collapsed because government does not manage the credit activities in banks. For example, in 2008, the crisis happened in the USA, for banks lent to money for people not have ability to repay. This event impacted on the global economy, and there were many countries taking a long time to recover. In conclusion, credit activity helps countries to be grown, but it can be one of causes of crisis. This is an important factor in society and economy. However, banks should consider carefully before lending money. Besides, people have to control the financial ability, and have reasonably spending.
Nowadays,
people
can
easily
borrow
money
from
banks
. There are someone who is without repaying
ability
, and it is the reason why the problems of
economy
and society increase
quickly
. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages when
people
are able to
use
credit
cards or loans
easily
.

There are
some
disadvantages if
people
can have
financial
resources to
easily
their need. The growth of
credit
helps
economy
to be stronger, for
companies
sell
a lot of
goods
.
Moreover
, if
banks
are simple to lend
money
, clients do not need
find
another
financial
institution, such as mafia. Other way,
banks
can lose chance to earn more sales
because
credit
process are more difficult.
People
will be in
danger
by using illegal
financial
instruments.

On the other hand
,
banks
maybe not collect
money
when they have simple
credit
policies.
People
use
too much
money
without repaying
ability
instead
of controlling their expenditure.
Consequently
, crime rate will grow in society, and the
economy
crisis happen when there are
many
banks
not to receive
money
from customers. It is
so
dangerous
for countries having too much
bad
debt. An
economy
can
be collapsed
because
government
does not manage the
credit
activities in
banks
.
For example
, in 2008, the crisis happened in the USA, for
banks
lent to
money
for
people
not have
ability
to repay. This
event
impacted on the global
economy
, and there were
many
countries taking a long time to recover.

In conclusion
,
credit
activity
helps
countries to
be grown
,
but
it can be one of causes of crisis. This is an
important
factor in society and
economy
.
However
,
banks
should consider
carefully
before
lending
money
.
Besides
,
people
have to
control the
financial
ability
, and have
reasonably
spending.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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