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many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v.4

many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v. 4
Weddings are certainly one of the most memorable days of a person's lifetime. Increased expenditure on weddings is quite the trend these days with people choosing to make their special day grand and festive. I believe that, while it is important to celebrate such joyous occasions, spending a lot of money on weddings is not a good thing and the below essay outlines my reasons for believing so. Nevertheless, I believe that over-the-top spending has many negative consequences. Firstly, extremely costly arrangements are nothing but a waste of money as these only bring superficial happiness. This happiness is short-lived as being with loved ones is more important that materialistic contentment. Most of the expensive items used in a wedding such as decorative clothing, jewellery, fancy lights and exotic flowers are never re-used. Consequently, this leads to excessive wastage, and as such, brings more despair than joy. For instance, it is estimated that almost 75% of the items that are used in wedding stage decorations are thrown away after the big day. Secondly, many young couples fall into the trap of debt for the sake of spending lavishly on their wedding day. This is usually due to societal pressure to show off their riches which subsequently leads to mounting credit card bills. Furthermore, this money would have better use as an investment in the couple's future. Although this is done to impress others, it usually poses a headache at a later point. For example, a recent survey by The Gurdian pointed out that 42% of newly married couples have some form of financial liability that haunts them post their wedding day. To summarize, couples do tend to spend a lot of cash on their weddings these days. Even though this is necessary to an extent, I believe that extreme spending is not good and that the expenditure must be controlled.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weddings
are
certainly
one of the most memorable days of a person's lifetime. Increased expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
is quite the trend these days with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their special day grand and festive. I believe that, while it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to celebrate such joyous occasions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing and the below essay outlines my reasons for believing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Nevertheless
, I believe that over-the-top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
Firstly
,
extremely
costly arrangements are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a waste of money as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring superficial happiness. This happiness is short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
as being with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that materialistic contentment. Most of the expensive items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
such as decorative clothing,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, fancy lights and exotic flowers are never re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Consequently
, this leads to excessive wastage, and as such, brings more despair than joy.
For instance
, it
is estimated
that almost 75% of the items that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
stage decorations
are thrown
away after the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
day.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young couples fall into the trap of debt for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
lavishly
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
day. This is
usually
due to societal pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their riches which
subsequently
leads to mounting credit card bills.
Furthermore
, this money would have better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as an investment in the couple's future. Although this
is done
to impress others, it
usually
poses a headache at a later point.
For example
, a recent survey by The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gurdian
pointed out that 42% of
newly
married couples have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of financial liability that haunts them post their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
day.

To summarize
, couples do tend to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cash on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
these days.
Even though
this is necessary to an extent, I believe that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and that the expenditure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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