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Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v.3

Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v. 3
Nowadays, people organise the wedding in a grand manner and such trend has become one of the parameters to showcase their status in the society. People have started to judge one's richness by the type of wedding they arrange. The more grand your wedding is, the more impression you will have on the society. In my opinion, this is a negative trend, as a huge amount of money is spent on unnecessary things. This growing trend of big fat weddings is a great sign that mankind has started to enjoy every moment of their life. As industrialization and commercialization is increasing, human is getting more and more busy in their work, which is somewhat resulting in poor work-life balance. With rare occasions of celebration, it is required to celebrate whatever small or big happiness comes in our way. But it is also important to have a complete understanding and planning of one's current and future financial needs before we plan a huge investment in leisure activities such as wedding. On the other hand, a wedding is an event where we spend our hard earned money not only on ourselves, but also for others and most of the time it happen that the guests are not that involved in your happiness and they also give bad feedbacks and comment about the food, decor, etc. Before others. This reminds me of an incident where me along with my other friends were attending a wedding. On one side there was the bride, the groom, their family was looking so happy and emotional and on the other side, we saw their few relatives bad mouthing about something they did not like much. We got disappointed to see that your emotions does not equate with the other invitees in the wedding and hence, it's better to be considerate about whom you are inviting and how much you are spending. To conclude, in my opinion, spending the hard earned money on a wedding can be a display of affection, but this affects ones' saving and create a lot of wastage. Therefore, this fashion has more negative effects than positive impact.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
Consider replacing "in a grand manner" with the adverb for "grand"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a grand manner
and such trend has become one of the parameters to showcase their status in the society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to judge one's richness by the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
they arrange. The more grand your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is, the more impression you will have on the society. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend, as a huge amount of money
is spent
on unnecessary things.

This growing trend of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
that mankind has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to enjoy every moment of their life. As industrialization and commercialization is increasing, human is getting more and more busy in their work, which is somewhat resulting in poor work-life balance. With rare occasions of celebration, it
is required
to celebrate whatever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in our way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a complete understanding and planning of one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future financial needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we plan a huge investment in leisure activities such as wedding.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
where we spend our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on ourselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for others and most of the time it
Did you mean "happens"?
happen
that the guests are not that involved in your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happiness and
they
also
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
feedbacks and comment about the food, decor, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
others. This reminds me of an incident where me along with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends were attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
. On one side there was the bride, the groom, their family was looking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy and emotional and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
their few relatives
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
bad mouthing
about something they did not like much. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
disappointed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that your emotions does not equate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
invitees in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and
hence
, it's better to be considerate about whom you are inviting and how much you are spending.

To conclude
, in my opinion, spending the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
can be a display of affection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this affects ones' saving and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wastage.
Therefore
, this fashion has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. do you think is a good thing? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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