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Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? v. 2
A famous adage says "Union is strength", but the joint family concept has become very uncommon these days, people mostly prefer to live in a nuclear family setup. Some people argue that this is a positive development while others believe in a contrary. In this essay, I will analyse the pros and cons of both the sides and conclude my opinion. On the one hand, the greatest strength of being in a joint family is elder's support in bringing up a child. Nowadays, the number of young parents visiting a parenting counsellor has been increased manifold. The reason behind this is lack of experience, whereas our grandparents have taught these parenting tips on a daily basis for our parents in an easy way. Secondly, for any small emergency, elderly people possess the required knowledge to prepare some homemade medicine for a temporary or a permanent cure/remedy which in turn, avoids the doctor visit and thereby we can save a lot of money. For example, when my younger sister was suffering from a very bad toothache one day on a midnight, my grandma provided a medicine prepared with the help of cloves. It really helped him by minimizing the pain and allowed him to sleep that day. On the other hand, one disadvantage of living in a joint family is, it requires adjustments in various aspects. The family will have their own rules and regulations like sleeping on time, even if you want to study for your exams you cannot stretch yourself at night as it might affect the rest of them. Furthermore, you can't take any independent decision either on your own or within the parents. It should be discussed with each and every adult in the abode, so you really can't have a personal space which you have to sacrifice. For instance, my school friend Maya wanted to study medicine after her higher secondary, even her parent was in agreement initially, but their family members canvassed them, saying, if she has been sent for a long distance from home then she will elope with someone later on. Finally, she was allowed to study some three year arts course in a local institution. To conclude, although there are few disadvantages in being with the joint family, it is always possible to overcome those by talking to them with all the favourable points that we have. This essay clearly highlights that the positives overweigh the negatives so it is not a positive trend, it's high time to reverse the trend.
A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
adage says
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Union is strength
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
concept has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
uncommon these days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
setup.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development while others believe in a contrary. In this essay, I will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the pros and cons of both the sides and conclude my opinion.

On the one hand, the greatest strength of being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is elder's support in bringing up a child. Nowadays, the number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
visiting a parenting
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellor' is British English.
counsellor
has
been increased
manifold. The reason behind this is lack of experience, whereas our grandparents have taught these parenting tips on a daily basis for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
.
Secondly
, for any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
emergency, elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
possess the required knowledge to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
homemade medicine for a temporary or a permanent cure/remedy which in turn, avoids the doctor visit and thereby we can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.
For example
, when my younger sister was suffering from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
toothache one day on a midnight, my grandma provided a medicine prepared with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of cloves. It
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him by minimizing the pain and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
him to sleep that day.

On the other hand
, one disadvantage of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is, it requires adjustments in various aspects. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations like sleeping on time, even if you want to study for your exams you cannot stretch yourself at night as it might affect the rest of them.
Furthermore
, you can't take any independent decision either on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. It should
be discussed
with each and every adult in the abode,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you
really
can't have a personal space which you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice.
For instance
, my school friend Maya wanted to study medicine after her higher secondary, even her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
was in agreement
initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members canvassed them, saying, if she has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for a long distance from home then she will elope with someone later on.
Finally
, she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
three year arts course in a local institution.

To conclude
, although there are few disadvantages in being with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it is always possible to overcome those by talking to them with all the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
points that we have. This essay
clearly
highlights that the positives
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the negatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, it's high time to reverse the trend.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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