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Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

These days a lot of people now think that we should have a few number of sons. So, some people think that is true because the time is changed. While others believe that is false and the human kind is going to disappear. I will discuss the both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, there are people think is bad trend and the percents of ageism get worse and worse in first world country. For example, China was released a policy for family, and that policy says that each family can have just one child. But in 2015 China remove this rule, because the workers is running out, and news says that China would support families to have 2 or more children. So, that why some people think that we should cracking down on this trend. On the other hand, some say that is taking care a baby is very hard and we are free to have one or two children. To illustrate, the worker women can left her child with babies sitter, and pay for her. But if you have several children, so you can not afford to paid to her. Hence the belief that is not good to critic this trend. In addition, most families that acceptable with that trend say there is economic problems with a lot of children because you must to pay for thier schools, games, clothes and other needed. For an instanse, you see that with more children, there are more prussere on both parents to approve family. This proves clearly that we have a good trend here. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we must keep that trend or support falmilies to have more children.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we should have a few number of sons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that is
true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. While others believe
that is
false and the
This word is normally spelled as one.
human kind
is going to disappear. I will discuss the both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and the percents of ageism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse and worse in
first
world country.
For example
, China
was released
a policy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and that policy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2015 China remove this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the workers is running out, and news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
that China would support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to have 2 or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we should cracking down on this trend.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
that is
taking care a baby is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
we are free to have one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate, the worker women can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
her child with babies sitter, and pay for her.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can not afford to paid to her.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to critic this trend.

In addition
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that acceptable with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
there is economic problems with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
After ‘must’, the verb is used without ‘to’. Probably, you should use “must” or “have to” here.
must to
pay for
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
schools, games, clothes and other needed. For an
Possible spelling mistake found.
instanse
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
prussere
on both parents to approve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This proves
clearly
that we have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
here.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
or support
Possible spelling mistake found.
falmilies
to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all. Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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