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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.8

Education is considered as the most salient thing people should pursue in this fast-changing information based society as a good education may change a person's lifestyle. It allows us to pursue a certain course in university and getting our dream job in the future. Some people will definitely choose to further their studies in universities, be it local universities or foreign universities. In spite of knowing the importance of tertiary education, some people opted to work and gain experience directly. Although working after high school graduation bring some advantages to us, I side with those who opine that having tertiary education is a better way to guarantee a good job, as I firmly believe that it will have th edge over working directly after high school. Here are the reasons why. First and foremost, by completing a course in university education, we will have education qualifications, which is either a diploma or degree. It is like a passport to private club of money and power. Also, it is irrefutable that employers will tend to choose university graduates because this may indicate that the person has a good self discipline and hardworking, which are the values required for a person to graduate successfully from university. This may also suggest that they have more positive values than those who did not get university education because they joined a myriad of ci-curricular activities during their universities life, which is another reason why employers should hire them. Apart from that, with a completion of university education, students will have higher level of studies. As a consequence, people will respect and look up to you. Therefore, the conclusion here is simple. Having university education enables a person to have education qualifications. Second of all, those who further their studies in university will have more knowledge in a certain field. Normally, university courses require four to five years of study. Therefore, it is undeniable that they will have more knowledge, which includes both theory and practical. When they are well- informed, they can apply the knowledge they have into their career without a doubt. Another key thing to remember is that if students complete their university education with flying colors, this shows that the students are ingenuous and diligent. Thus, by having tertiary education, students can increase their knowledge and master practical skills. Knowledge is a very essential thing to have in the world of work as there is a saying that goes, without knowledge, you are like a ship that sets sail without direction. On the other hand, starting to work after school also bring some advantages to students. To my mind, though, it does not bring as much advantages compare to further studies. Some students are not interested to further study as they think it is a waste of time and money. Instead, they started working and practice some skills such as practicing hair cut. Once they have more experience, they are more likely to be hired by the owner of the shop. Some opine that by doing so, they can earn money faster and hence reduce financial burden of their family. Taking everything into consideration, I reiterate that furthering studies bring more advantages to students. However, it is up to the students to make up their mind to find a pathway that suit them best.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is considered
as the most salient thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pursue in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing information based society as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a person's lifestyle. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to pursue a certain course in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and getting our dream job in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will definitely choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, be it local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
knowing the importance of tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opted to work and gain experience
directly
. Although working after high school graduation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to us, I side with those who opine that having tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a better way to guarantee a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, as I
firmly
believe that it will have
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
edge over working
directly
after high school. Here are the reasons why.

First
and foremost, by completing a course in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, we will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
qualifications, which is either a diploma or degree. It is like a passport to private club of money and power.
Also
, it is irrefutable that employers will tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this may indicate that the person has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
self discipline
and hardworking, which are the values required for a person to graduate
successfully
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This may
also
suggest that they have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
values than those who did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a myriad of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ci-curricular
activities during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
life, which is another reason why employers should hire them. Apart from that, with a completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will respect and look up to you.
Therefore
, the conclusion here is simple. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
enables a person to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
qualifications.

Second of all, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in a certain field.
Normally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses require four to five years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that they will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, which includes both theory and practical. When they are well- informed, they can apply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
they have into their career without a doubt. Another key thing to remember is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with flying colors, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are ingenuous and diligent.
Thus
, by having tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and master practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential thing to have in the world of work as there is a saying that goes, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, you are like a ship that sets sail without direction.

On the other hand
, starting to work after school
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To my mind, though, it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
as
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘advantages’.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a waste of time and money.
Instead
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working and practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as practicing hair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
. Once they have more experience, they are more likely to
be hired
by the owner of the shop.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can earn money faster and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
financial burden of their family.

Taking everything into consideration, I reiterate that furthering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, it is up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up their mind to find a pathway that suit them best.
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IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course in university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far with the above views? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
552 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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