Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and opinion. v.3

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. v. 3
In general, living with a family is a common thing in Asia countries. Especially, in Taipei city, you need a bigger budget for renting an apartment alone. Therefore, many people want to stay with parents and it is a good way to save money. Despite, it could spend a lot of money on renting budget, there are still newly graduated students would like to be independent without control. However, it is convenient to get support from a family member, they supply food, even cook for you, or do the laundry and clean the room, less struggle daily. Some people get married and have children, grandparents will take care of them, no need babysitting who unknown to raising your kids. On the contrary, everything will be controlled by them, house rules and lack of living skills. Meanwhile, the person who likes to be diverse and challenge, they would choose to leave the house. In my opinion, it is a better solution for adults. Learning how to deal with daily issues. For instance, making yourself dinner that you have to know how to use the oven and grocery shopping. Furthermore, schedule and in charge personal lifestyle is a terrific ability and capacity to embrace loneliness and conquer difficulties in daily life. Meanwhile, facilitate living skills, become more responsible. Overall, parenting is a great learning process, when an adolescent becomes an adult, basic skills will be learned from experiences. Without the protection of the family, many confrontations waiting in our life, we must be prepared to fight for it.
In general
, living with a family is a common thing in Asia countries.
Especially
, in Taipei city, you need a bigger budget for renting an apartment alone.
Therefore
,
many
people
want to stay with parents and it is a
good
way to save money. Despite, it could spend
a lot of
money on renting budget, there are
still
newly
graduated students would like to be independent without control.

However
, it is convenient to
get
support from a family member, they supply food, even cook for you, or do the laundry and clean the room, less struggle daily.
Some
people
get
married and have children, grandparents will take care of them, no need babysitting
who unknown
to raising your kids.
On the contrary
, everything will
be controlled
by them,
house
rules
and lack of living
skills
.

Meanwhile, the person who likes to be diverse and challenge, they would choose to
leave
the
house
. In my opinion, it is a better solution for adults. Learning how to deal with daily issues.
For instance
, making yourself dinner that you
have to
know how to
use
the oven and grocery shopping.
Furthermore
, schedule and in charge personal lifestyle is a terrific ability and capacity to embrace loneliness and conquer difficulties in daily life. Meanwhile, facilitate living
skills
, become more responsible.

Overall
, parenting is a great learning process, when an adolescent becomes an adult, basic
skills
will
be learned
from experiences. Without the protection of the family,
many
confrontations waiting in our life, we
must
be prepared
to fight for it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts