Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.3

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 3
Despite knowing about the tendency¬¬ of criminals keep committing more unlawful acts after their first punishment, the public authorities have yet to find effective measures to address these on-going problems. this essay will examine the main causes and possible solution for this. The main cause of this concerning issue is due to the fact that these offenders, after being released, most of them tend to be unable to find the acceptance within their society. In some countries, even these people have completed serving their period of punishment, however, people around still consider them as outcasts due to their past mistakes. Although this could be understandable, nonetheless, this social norm would contribute to the extreme isolation for these offenders. provided they are unable to find a job to earn a sufficient income to cover their living expenses, as a result, they might be forced to keep committing illegal activities, for example, robbing or even human trafficking in the case of extreme individuals. government incentives and society’s acceptance certainly can make effective efforts to reduce this current social issue. For government, an effective solution is to provide these offenders with re-educated programs on how to interact with the society after a long period of time of banishment. By doing this, they might as well be able to find a suitable method to adapt to the new environment. families and friends may want to take more responsibilities for the impact they have on these individuals. they should welcome these ex-convicts to be a part of their families again. It has been proven that nothing is more important than being accepted and forgiven by the people they love. In conclusion, government and families must play their part in looking after these former prisoners. For the most part, they are just some people who lost their tracks along the way and, depend on what crimes they committed, they deserve a second chance in their life.
Despite knowing about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tendency¬¬
of criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
committing more unlawful acts after their
first
punishment, the public authorities have
yet
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
effective measures to address these
Did you mean "ongoing"?
on-going
problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will examine the main causes and possible solution for this.

The main cause of this concerning issue is due to the fact that these offenders, after
being released
, most of them tend to be unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the acceptance within their society. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, even these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have completed serving their period of punishment,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around
still
consider them as outcasts due to their past mistakes. Although this could be understandable, nonetheless, this social norm would contribute to the extreme isolation for these offenders.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
provided
they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a job to earn a sufficient income to cover their living expenses,
as a result
, they might
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
committing illegal activities,
for example
, robbing or even human trafficking in the case of extreme individuals.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
government
incentives and society’s acceptance
certainly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
social issue. For
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, an effective solution is to provide these offenders with re-educated programs on how to interact with the society after a long period of time of banishment. By doing this, they might
as well
be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a suitable method to adapt to the new environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
families
and friends may want to take more responsibilities for the impact they have on these individuals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
should welcome these ex-convicts to be a part of their families again. It has
been proven
that nothing is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and forgiven by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
play their part in looking after these former prisoners.
For the most part
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
along the way and, depend on what crimes they committed, they deserve a second chance in their life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts