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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? You should write at least 250 words. v.11

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 11
Crimes have become an increasing cause of concern for the society, at large. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why some people tend to take to their criminal ways to tackle situations, even after serving their time or punishments, and suggest solutions to the problem. In fact, there are many reasons why lawbreakers adopt their own ways even after the retribution. Firstly, a criminal would always be regarded as one of humanity, no matter how much effort he takes to change his ways. For example, it is a widely known fact that the prisoners, after returning to the community cannot function like before, as they would always be seen as a criminal by the general public. Secondly, they themselves have instilled a sense of crime in their mind, which they would effectively tap to provide solutions for their issues. Hence, as long as these problems are not addressed, it would be extremely difficult for the prisoners to mend their ways. On the other hand, there are many ways that can be adopted to enable the prisoners to stop committing further crimes. Educating them about the effects of their actions can not only bring considerable changes in the way they perceive civilization, but also can effectively assist him in becoming an integral part of the world. For instance, prisoners in Finland are being shown the after effects of their heinous acts, which aided in alleviating the crime rates in the country. Additionally, the government can bring about changes in their life after they have taken the damnation, by socially uplifting them and assisting them to be a part of the community. One clear example is the case of Sweden, where the federal authorities have helped people in integrating with the public, after they have been penalised for their acts. To conclude, even though many offenders resort to conducting crimes after serving the punishments, there are ways that the authorities can adopt to change the situation. These measures need to be embraced urged by the authorities, to curb the menace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
have become an increasing cause of concern for the society, at large. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to take to their criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to tackle situations, even after serving their time or punishments, and suggest solutions to the problem.

In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why lawbreakers adopt their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
even after the retribution.
Firstly
, a criminal would always
be regarded
as one of humanity, no matter how much effort he takes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
For example
, it is a
widely
known fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
, after returning to the community cannot function like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, as they would always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a criminal by the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
Secondly
, they themselves have instilled a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in their mind, which they would
effectively
tap to provide solutions for their issues.
Hence
, as long as these problems are not addressed, it would be
extremely
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
to mend their ways.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that can
be adopted
to enable the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
committing
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Educating them about the effects of their actions can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
they perceive civilization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
effectively
assist him in becoming an integral part of the world.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
in Finland are
being shown
the after effects of their heinous acts, which aided in alleviating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates in the country.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can bring about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in their life after they have taken the damnation, by
socially
uplifting them and assisting them to be a part of the community. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is the case of Sweden, where the federal authorities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in integrating with the public, after they have been
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
for their acts.

To conclude
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offenders resort to conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after serving the punishments, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that the authorities can
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the situation. These measures need to
be embraced
urged by the authorities, to curb the menace.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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