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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.40

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 40
There is no doubt that these days children are affected by the new technology, which sometimes interfere with making them beneficial members in society, however, the question: Is it the responsibility of the school or parents to raise suitable members of the community? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that parents must teach their kids how to be effective members. The main reason for believing this is that children spend their early years at home with their parents and as a result, they will digest the main concepts of being a good member in society from their parents for instance, throwing rubbish in the bin, caring about other children and respecting adults. Furthermore, children copy their parents in any attitude or behaviour so they have to take care of what they are doing in front of them. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that children spend a lot of time at school more than what they do at home so the school has to do the major role in raising up good children. Moreover, at schools they are facing several situations where they have to act immediately and wisely by themselves, however, the school has to monitor these actions and give suitable feedback accordingly. For example, nowadays students are spending around ten hours at schools, nurseries and daycares, so most of their daily case are happening outside their homes. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer to this question, however, I tend to believe that parents and schools should work together in order to create the best community because both of them have an effect on the children. There should be a balance in between and cohesion.
There is no doubt that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the new technology, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
interfere with making them beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in society,
however
, the question: Is it the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to raise suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their kids how to be effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. The main reason for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their early years at home with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
as a result
, they will digest the main concepts of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
in society from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for instance
, throwing rubbish in the bin, caring about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and respecting adults.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in any attitude or behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of what they are doing in front of them.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
more than what they do at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do the major role in raising up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
they are facing several situations where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act immediately and
wisely
by themselves,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
monitor these actions and give suitable feedback
accordingly
.
For example
, nowadays students are spending around ten hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, nurseries and
Possible spelling mistake found.
daycares
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of their daily case are happening outside their homes.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer to this question,
however
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should work together in order to create the best community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of them have an effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There should be a balance in between and cohesion.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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