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In many countries athletes earn much more money than professional like doctor, teachers or engineers. Why do you think this happens and consider it is good or bad. v.1

In many countries athletes earn much more money than professional like doctor, teachers or engineers. Why do you think this happens and consider it is good or bad. v. 1
There is a bitter fact that in some nations, entertainers are regarded as the lucrative careers, while professionals in academic fields such as doctors, teachers or engineers are underpaid. In my opinion, I strongly consider this behaviour to be a bad practice as both jobs should be equal. It is undeniable that entertainment does play a crucial role in our lives. In our day-to-day mundane routine, it is movies, music and sports that rescue us from the tediousness and monotony. Therefore, it is understandable why artists are gainful. Through their productions such as films, songs or concerts, they inspire and motivate us. Moreover, being artists also means that they have to be put under server strain from the community. Thus, their income can be regarded as the mental compensation and their contribution. Having said that, I also think that there are few other professions other than film, music and sports industries in the realm of entertainment, should also be highly paid. People who devote their lives for their jobs, army officials, for instance, ought to be paid well as a small appreciation of what they do for the civilians. Also, jobs which involve a high level of responsibilities and pressure also deserve a higher pay. Professions like doctor, politics and teaching are the jobs that require people with high level of perception and proficiency. Thus to attract such talent to these jobs, it is important to pay them well. In conclusion, all the above points fortify my opinion that people in entertainment business receive a payment that they deserve. Nonetheless, other professions which involve high risk, responsibilities and skills, should also be paid well, so as to attract and keep the required talent motivated enough to choose these fields as their possible career.
There is a bitter fact that in
some
nations, entertainers
are regarded
as the lucrative careers, while professionals in academic fields such as doctors, teachers or engineers are underpaid. In my opinion, I
strongly
consider this
behaviour
to be a
bad
practice as both
jobs
should be equal.

It is undeniable that entertainment does play a crucial role in our
lives
. In our day-to-day mundane routine, it is movies, music and sports that rescue us from the tediousness and monotony.
Therefore
, it is understandable why artists are gainful. Through their productions such as films, songs or concerts, they inspire and motivate us.
Moreover
, being artists
also
means that they
have to
be put
under server strain from the community.
Thus
, their income can
be regarded
as the mental compensation and their contribution.

Having said that, I
also
think
that there are few other professions other than film, music and sports industries in the realm of entertainment, should
also
be
highly
paid.
People
who devote their
lives
for their
jobs
, army officials,
for instance
, ought to
be paid
well as a
small
appreciation of what they do for the civilians.
Also
,
jobs
which involve a high level of responsibilities and pressure
also
deserve a higher pay. Professions like doctor, politics and teaching are the
jobs
that require
people
with high level of perception and proficiency.
Thus
to attract such talent to these
jobs
, it is
important
to pay them well.

In conclusion
, all the above points fortify my opinion that
people
in entertainment business receive a payment that they deserve. Nonetheless, other professions which involve high
risk
, responsibilities and
skills
, should
also
be paid
well,
so as to
attract and
keep
the required talent motivated
enough
to choose these fields as their possible career.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries athletes earn much more money than professional like doctor, teachers or engineers. Why do you think this happens and consider it is good or bad. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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