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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.23

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 23
Museums these days plays an essential role in education, learning and entertainment. However, several museums offer their services for free whereas others asked their clients to pay fees for entrance. I believe that charging for admission is paramount. This essay will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of this issue. On one hand, visiting of museums without paying any money has many shortcomings. From museum's perspective, being free for all public all over the year may lead to host large number of individuals that will make museums overcrowded. As a result, school's pupils and children would not be learned properly due to congestion. From individual's perspective, only high-income persons have the ability to visit such knowledgable places. In other words, poor people could deprive from museums' services and opportunities to explore more as they cannot spend their time there. In spite of the aforementioned disadvantages, there are a myriad of advantages. Firstly, museums not only can update their appliances and operating software, but they also can upgrade their belongings through purchasing of many valuable masterpieces. Secondly, museums can exploit their entrance's fees in achieving many vital things such as pay for internet services, water, electricity and even telephone bills. Lastly, those payments can be invested by administration to enhance their human resources' abilities through flying overseas to attend training courses and through exchange of experiences. To conclude, I convince that charging for entrance of museums is far more important than being free for all in order to be operated, developed and updated effectively. It is recommended that if the museums did not take in their consideration that charging fees should be inexpensive, they would face many serious problems such as losing of their customers.
Museums
these days plays an essential role in education, learning and entertainment.
However
, several
museums
offer their services for free whereas others asked their clients to pay fees for entrance. I believe that charging for admission is paramount. This essay will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of this issue.

On one hand, visiting of
museums
without paying any money has
many
shortcomings. From museum's perspective, being free for all public all over the year may lead to host large number of individuals that will
make
museums
overcrowded.
As a result
, school's pupils and children would not
be learned
properly
due to congestion. From individual's perspective,
only
high-income persons have the ability to visit such
knowledgable
places.
In other words
, poor
people
could
deprive from
museums' services and opportunities to explore more
as
they cannot spend their time there.

In spite of
the aforementioned disadvantages, there are a
myriad
of advantages.
Firstly
,
museums
not
only
can update their appliances and operating software,
but
they
also
can upgrade their belongings through purchasing of
many
valuable masterpieces.
Secondly
,
museums
can exploit their entrance's fees in achieving
many
vital things such as pay for internet services, water, electricity and even telephone bills.
Lastly
, those payments can
be invested
by administration to enhance their human resources' abilities through flying overseas to attend training courses and through exchange of experiences.

To conclude
, I convince that charging for entrance of
museums
is far more
important
than being free for all in order to
be operated
, developed and updated
effectively
. It
is recommended
that if the
museums
did not take in their consideration that charging fees should be inexpensive, they would face
many
serious problems such as losing of their customers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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