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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages? v.13

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages? v. 13
People's interest in visiting museums is becoming increasingly popular these days. While some argue that the museums should not charge any entrance fee, many believe that these fees are crucial to keep them running. This essay will provide arguments why the advantages of these charges outweigh the disadvantages. First and foremost, most of the museums, globally, are funded by governments and since the state funding is usually not enough for these institutions, forcing them to take a nominal entrance fee from the visitors. For instance, the Australian Museum in Sydney comes under the government of NSW and have a yearly budget of around 2. 5 million dollars, but the total expense of the Museum is 3 million dollars pushing them to ask visitors to purchase tickets. On the other hand, many of these museums also having research departments which require constant funding in order to keep the research programs running therefore these admission tickets play a vital role in continuing these scientific searches. Moreover, these ticket purchases also help to pay for the regular maintenance in these museums which, obviously, are quite necessary to be taken care of. One of the disadvantages of the museums charging for entrance tickets is that many people try to avoid them if they are on a budget or if the museum has no exhibition running. This can cause a museum to run low on funds and can lead them to cost cutting, thus people's job can be at risk due to low earning in a financial year. All in all, apart from a very few disadvantages for these fees, I strongly believe that these ticket purchasing for entering the museum play an important role in running them as they not only play a vital role for tourist hotspots by promoting the culture and diversity of a country, but also provide a platform for researchers to search and discover many new species and life every year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's interest in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is becoming
increasingly
popular these days. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should not charge any entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
. This essay will provide arguments why the advantages of these charges outweigh the disadvantages.

First
and foremost, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, globally,
are funded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and since the state funding is
usually
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for these institutions, forcing them to take a nominal entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
from the visitors.
For instance
, the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of NSW and have a yearly budget of around 2. 5 million dollars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the total expense of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
is 3 million dollars pushing them to ask visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tickets.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
also
having research departments which require constant funding in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the research programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
therefore
these admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
play a vital role in continuing these scientific searches.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to pay for the regular maintenance in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which,
obviously
, are quite necessary to
be taken
care of.

One of the disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
charging for entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to avoid them if they are on a budget or if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has no exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
. This can cause a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to run low on funds and can lead them to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost cutting
,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's job can be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
due to low earning in a financial year.

All in all, apart from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few disadvantages for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, I
strongly
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
purchasing for entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
them as they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
play a vital role for tourist hotspots by promoting the culture and diversity of a country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide a platform for researchers to search and discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new species and life every year.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages? v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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