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Many museums charge for admission ehile others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweighvthe advantages? v.2

Many museums charge for admission ehile others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweighvthe advantages? v. 2
Museum as a educational facility can enter freely, but some museums take fees for their entrance. There are several reasons make people argue that admission fees are important for museums or not. Admission fee to enter into museum can increase museum' s income to operate it. Museum' s admission fee does not have to be expensive one, because they also receive annual fund from goverment. For example, Museum Benteng Rotterdam in Makassar Indonesia asks just for Rp 5, 000 for admission fee. Despite this, it will give a chance for museum staff to conduct corruption if they do not have any proper regulation. What is more, increasing income by admission fee regulation makes museums have better conservation of historical heritages, and provide them sophisticated facilities in museums. This is giving visiters comfortable atmosphere and preserving historical heritages to the next generation in the future. For example, museum that icing on the cake of Europe art histories, Louvre Museum located in French is charging people for £15 as admission fee, and the historical heritages in there are preserved well by them. However, admission fee makes people not that interesting to come to museum. In conclude to say, admission fees as additional income make museums preserve well their collections, so everyone can learn about what happen in the past as our histories that have influences for our life now. How should people react for this issue? Hopefully, people should aware of this action as their contribution to preserve these historical heritages to the next generation in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
educational facility can enter
freely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for their entrance. There are several reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
or not.

Admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
to enter into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
museum&
#039; s income to operate it.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Museum&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be expensive one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
receive annual fund from
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
Possible spelling mistake found.
Benteng
Rotterdam in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Makassar
Indonesia asks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rp
5, 000 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
. Despite this, it will give a chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
staff to conduct corruption if they do not have any proper regulation.

What is more
, increasing income by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
regulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have better conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
, and provide them sophisticated facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. This is giving
Possible spelling mistake found.
visiters
comfortable atmosphere and preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
to the
next
generation in the future.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that icing on the cake of Europe art histories, Louvre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
located in French is charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for £15 as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
in there
are preserved
well by them.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not that interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to museum.

In conclude to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
as additional income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
preserve well their collections,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone can learn about what happen in the past as our histories that have influences for our life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. How should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
react for this issue?
Hopefully
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
of this action as their contribution to preserve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
to the
next
generation in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission ehile others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweighvthe advantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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