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Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. v. 2
In the modern days, technology plays an essential part in the growth of the children, Although it has its merits, most peopl believe that it is highly damaging a child's physical and mental development. I think that parents are more responsible for taking care of their kids to make sure they avoid their screen times. On one hand, in today's fast paced lifestyle, parents who are employed are having a tough time engaging their kids in activities, hence they greatly rely on gadgets like television, Playstations and mobile phones and so on. Caretakers are inadvertently allowing kids to get addicted to the technologies. On the other hand, relentless usage and the extreme exposure to gadgets, affects a child's cognitive skills and deterioration of their physical health. In order to avoid that, firstly, to limit the screen times, entice the young ones in activities that really interest them, like painting, clay moulding, paper crafts, dancing, singing. Secondly, for adolescents, especially in a nuclear family, where it would be a difficult time to manage them, allow kids to be friendly with neighbour kids and encourage them to actively participate in outdoor games. Finally, parents should spend more time with their kids, no matter how busy they are, as they play a vital role in their child's growth. Adults should be more interactive with the kids and find activities which interests them. To conclude, no matter how accelerated life, a parent may live, they must be provocative as to limit screen times to make sure their health intact and persuade children to take part in active indoor or outdoor games which really captivate them.
In the modern days, technology plays an essential part in the growth of the children, Although it has its merits, most
peopl
believe that it is
highly
damaging a child's physical and mental development. I
think
that
parents
are more responsible for taking care of their
kids
to
make
sure they avoid their screen times.

On one hand, in
today
's
fast
paced lifestyle,
parents
who
are employed
are having a tough
time
engaging their
kids
in activities,
hence
they
greatly
rely on gadgets like television,
Playstations
and mobile phones and
so
on. Caretakers are
inadvertently
allowing
kids
to
get
addicted to the technologies.

On the other hand
, relentless usage and the extreme exposure to gadgets, affects a child's cognitive
skills
and deterioration of their physical health. In order to avoid that,
firstly
, to limit the screen
times
, entice the young ones in activities that
really
interest them, like painting, clay
moulding
, paper crafts, dancing, singing.
Secondly
, for adolescents,
especially
in a nuclear family, where it would be a difficult
time
to manage them,
allow
kids
to be friendly with
neighbour
kids
and encourage them to
actively
participate in outdoor games.

Finally
,
parents
should spend more
time
with their
kids
, no matter how busy they are, as they play a vital role in their child's growth. Adults should be more interactive with the
kids
and find activities which interests them.

To conclude
, no matter how accelerated life, a
parent
may
live
, they
must
be provocative as to limit screen
times
to
make
sure their health intact and persuade children to
take part
in active indoor or outdoor games which
really
captivate them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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