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Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v.1

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v. 1
In the modern society, it is obvious that there is a tendency that people decide to give birth later in their lives. This phenomenon is caused by a variety of factors and results in different effects on family in the particular and society in general. There are several reasons why many married couples delay having their babies. Firstly, young parents want to focus on their career to solve problems about money and find the right ways to earn a living. They decide to delay having the first child because they need to save up enough money to make sure that their life is wealthy. Furthermore, this choice allows them to have more time to enjoy life when they are young. For instance, it is easier for a young couple to travel when they do not have a baby to nurture. Finally, parents expect that if they prioritize their occupations, they would have more opportunities to make their life more prosperous, which could lead to better conditions for their children' afterwards. As a result, this phenomenon brings about negative and positive impacts on society and families. On the bright side, children of old couples are healthier thanks to better education and living conditions. Hence, they will make effective labour force and then contribute a lot to the development of society. Moreover, this lifestyle can improve the development of economy and civilization thank to people’s extra contribution. On the one hand, the world population becomes older, and fewer people are in the workforce, which causes a heavier burden on the whole society. In some special cases, the age gap between parents and teenagers are so wide that there are many endless rows over homework, clothes, curfews, and friends. This would lead to the family conflicts, even the break-ups. In conclusion, people these days have many reasons to have children at an older age, and the rise of such a trend will produce some certain negative impacts on both family life and society.
In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it is obvious that there is a tendency that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to give birth later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This phenomenon
is caused
by a variety of factors and results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the particular and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in general
.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
married couples delay having their babies.
Firstly
, young parents want to focus on their career to solve problems about money and find the right ways to earn a living. They decide to delay having the
first
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is wealthy.
Furthermore
, this choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to have more time to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when they are young.
For instance
, it is easier for a young couple to travel when they do not have a baby to nurture.
Finally
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that if they prioritize their occupations, they would have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more prosperous, which could lead to better conditions for their children' afterwards.

As a result
, this phenomenon brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. On the bright side, children of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
couples are healthier thanks to better education and living conditions.
Hence
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force and then contribute a lot to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, this lifestyle can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the development of economy and civilization thank to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
extra contribution. On the one hand, the world population becomes older, and fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in the workforce, which causes a heavier burden
on the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special cases, the age gap between parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wide that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endless rows over homework, clothes, curfews, and friends. This would lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
conflicts, even the break-ups.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to have children at an older age, and the rise of such a trend will produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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