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Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machine. Has it brought more advantage than disadvantage. v.1

Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machine. Has it brought more advantage than disadvantage. v. 1
It is undoubted that, more and more people use modern technologies to do housework. In my opinion, this development is positive and negative in equal measure. On the one hand, there are some countable disadvantages to the automate work. Firstly, utilizing machines to do chores will be expensive and not environment-friendly. In fact, modern technologies need a great deal of energies to operate such as washing machines and gas stove, leading the increase of cost of living as well as the lack of water and other resources. In addition, the modern machines that do housework are not as clean as people. For example, individuals mostly wash clothes by hand and just use laundry machines to make them dry faster. On the other hand, the advantages of up-to-date technologies should not be underestimated. One dominant benefit is that the smart devices are convenient and save people’s time. Indeed, instead of doing housework, residents can spend quality time doing their jobs, enabling them to earn more money, improving their living standards. Furthermore, household technologies have made homes safer, cleaner. For instance, before people used many stoves that came from coal, wood or other solid fuels. The heat could not be easily controlled and they were often smokey and messy so homes were routinely covered with a dust and the introduction of vacuum cleaner helped people clean up whole the house, enhancing the quality of air. In conclusion, the popularity of housework machines has both positive and negative for the humanity life.
It
is undoubted
that, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
. In my opinion, this development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in equal measure.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countable disadvantages to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'automate' is correct. If 'automate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the automate
work.
Firstly
, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to do chores will be expensive and not environment-friendly. In fact, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
need a great deal of energies to operate such as washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and gas stove, leading the increase of cost of living
as well
as the lack of water and other resources.
In addition
, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
that do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
are not as clean as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, individuals
mostly
wash clothes by hand and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
laundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them dry faster.

On the other hand
, the advantages of up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
should not
be underestimated
. One dominant benefit is that the smart devices are convenient and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
time.
Indeed
,
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
, residents can spend quality time doing their jobs, enabling them to earn more money, improving their living standards.
Furthermore
, household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have made homes safer, cleaner.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stoves that came from coal, wood or other solid fuels. The heat could not be
easily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
controlled and
they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
smokey and messy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
homes were
routinely
covered with a dust and the introduction of vacuum cleaner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
clean up whole the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, enhancing the quality of air.

In conclusion
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for the humanity life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machine. Has it brought more advantage than disadvantage. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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