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Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v.2

Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v. 2
In the recent years, more number of buildings with historical values have been demolished. Although there exist a valid reasons, destroying the property with ethnic value is unacceptable. In this essay, I shall examine the reasons why this buildings are not preserved and also I will state few measures to save these buildings from its destruction. One of the main reasons for demolishing these buildings is that, it have become too old and not in a state to use because of safety precautions. In other words, old buildings are not being maintained and eventually they have become vulnerable to natural disaster such as earth quake and storms. So, as a safety measure, these old buildings are completely taken off and they have been replaced by a new one. Another reason is that due to the construction of modern buildings with more living space. To illustrate, in metropolitan cities, nowadays, population has become more - and to accommodate them it is necessary to clear unused old buildings. However, by taking few measures, we could protect our buildings that have heritage value. Firstly, these buildings should be renovated if they are unsafe to utilize. At the moment, the only way to view our ancestors’ skills and tradition is through these buildings. So allocating some budget to repair these buildings would save them from destruction. Secondly, volunteers should conduct various campaigns demonstrating the importance of having these old buildings and they should emphasize that they are reflection of our tradition and heritage. To reiterate, historic buildings should be renovated if necessary and also people should be educated about their importance. These measures will ensure that these buildings will remain forever and even our future generations could witness and admire the construction methods of these historic buildings.
In the recent years, more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with historical values have
been demolished
. Although there exist a valid
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "reason"?
reasons
, destroying the property with ethnic value is unacceptable. In this essay, I shall examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are not preserved and
also
I will state few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to save these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
from its destruction.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for demolishing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is that, it
Did you mean "has"?
have
become too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and not in a state to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of safety precautions.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are not
being maintained
and
eventually
they have become vulnerable to natural disaster such as earth quake and storms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as a safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are completely taken
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
off and
they have
been replaced
by a new one. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that due to the construction of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with more living space. To illustrate, in metropolitan cities, nowadays, population has become more
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
and to accommodate them it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
unused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buildings.

However
, by taking few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
, we could protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that have heritage value.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be renovated
if they are unsafe to utilize. At the moment, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to view our ancestors’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and tradition is through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
allocating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
budget to repair these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
would save them from destruction.
Secondly
, volunteers should conduct various campaigns demonstrating the importance of having these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
buildings and
they should emphasize that they are reflection of our tradition and heritage.

To reiterate, historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be renovated
if necessary and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be educated
about their importance. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
will ensure that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
will remain forever and even our future generations could witness and admire the construction methods of these historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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