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Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v.1

Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v. 1
In this modern and age, due to the fast-growing technology, online meetings, discussions and training are extremely popular with all people. In my opinion, it brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, there are some major disadvantages happening when online meetings are conducted. Firstly, the load of working depends heavily on accessing the Internet. Truly, many online sessions or discussions are delayed totally because of damages from internet connection. Secondly, it is normally distracting people from working. In fact, external materials such as noises, images or outside activities can affect and take people’s attention from the meeting and training. Traditional sessions minimizes distraction because there is a direct interaction between people. Despite the weakness of working through the Internet, on the other hand, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. First and foremost, a variety of opportunities are created in collaboration between international businesses since the advent of virtual meetings. In the past, it was dramatically difficult in communicating and transferring the important information out of the boundary, thus traditional conferences or meetings, which were the only way to connect, were usually long-lasting but ineffective. Moreover, virtual discussions deal with serious and warning problem efficiently and effectively. In addition, online sessions are more economical than face-to-face ones. In reality, celebrating expenditure such as movement or venue expenditure, which before dominated significant amount of money of businesses, are eliminated because of the productive replacing of online tools. In conclusion, it seems to me that the merits of virtual meetings and trainings are more significant than the downsides
In this modern and age, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-growing technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, discussions and training are
extremely
popular with all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In my opinion, it brings more benefits than drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major disadvantages happening when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are conducted
.
Firstly
, the load of working depends
heavily
on accessing the Internet.
Truly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sessions or discussions
are delayed
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of damages from internet connection.
Secondly
, it is
normally
distracting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from working. In fact, external materials such as noises, images or outside activities can affect and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and training. Traditional sessions minimizes distraction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a direct interaction between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite the weakness of working through the Internet,
on the other hand
, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
First
and foremost, a variety of opportunities
are created
in collaboration between international businesses since the advent of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
. In the past, it was
dramatically
difficult in communicating and transferring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information out of the boundary,
thus
traditional conferences or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, which were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to connect, were
usually
long-lasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ineffective.
Moreover
, virtual discussions deal with serious and warning problem
efficiently
and
effectively
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sessions are more economical than face-to-face ones. In reality, celebrating expenditure such as movement or venue expenditure, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dominated significant amount of money of businesses,
are eliminated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the productive replacing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
tools.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, it seems to me that the merits of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and trainings are more significant than the downsides
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many historic buildings are being destroyed or replaced What are the reasons for this What should be done to preserve these buildings v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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