Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.1

Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1
Nowadays, most of the youngsters do part time jobs. While part time prospects, benefits them such as financial independence, understanding the company environment. However, there are few downsides to this. For instance, students lose interest in their studies. In this essay, will delineate on both pro's and con's with relevant examples. One of the essential benefits for students to have a part time job is not lending the money from their parents for satisfying their needs. Despite they will be helpful to their parents financially. For instance, a student can pay their territory fees, as these days are very expensive and it also reduces some burden to their elders. Moreover, by part time job students are cognitive on different aspects of the company environment. This will be helpful in their university. Hence, this can be few advantages for high school pupils. On the other hand, the downside to this the alumnus gets more concentration to earn money and show less interest on their career path. For example, children who do part time jobs can discontinue their studies in the middle of the year. Eventually, surveys have shown that about 10 percent of high school children who drop outs are part time workers. Thus this is one of the drawback by doing part time job. To recapitulate, analysing both sides of the argument by part time jobs it certainly offers more benefits than disadvantages. However, working at a very young age cannot be overlooked. Despite they should understand their goals and should not neglect on their studies and understand that part time jobs are not financial security.
Nowadays, most of the youngsters do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
prospects, benefits them such as financial independence, understanding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
environment.
However
, there are few downsides to this.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lose interest in their studies. In this essay, will delineate on both
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "pros"?
pro's
and con's with relevant examples.

One of the essential benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not lending the money from their parents for satisfying their needs. Despite they will be helpful to their parents
financially
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can pay their territory fees, as these days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
burden to their elders.
Moreover
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are cognitive on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
environment. This will be helpful in their university.
Hence
, this can be few advantages for high school pupils.

On the other hand
, the downside to this the alumnus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more concentration to earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less interest on their career path.
For example
, children who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can discontinue their studies in the middle of the year.
Eventually
, surveys have shown that about 10 percent of high school children who
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
drop outs
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
workers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this is one of the drawback by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job.

To recapitulate,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both sides of the argument by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
it
certainly
offers more benefits than disadvantages.
However
, working at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age cannot
be overlooked
. Despite they should understand their goals and should not neglect on their studies and understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not financial security.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts