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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 1
While economic growth is at the heart of the manifesto of some governments, many regular people as well as statesmen cast serious doubt on this stance saying that other types of progress are just the significant. There are those States who hold the opinion that affecting economic growth is their first and foremost mission, thus putting every other state matter a second priority, if not a distant one. such approach to governance is predicated on the principle that with the abundance of wealth will come a plethora of resources be it materialistic, educational, agricultural, environmental, HR etc. A different approach, however, maintains that real progress will not materialize unless and until a more across-the-board and all-around type of improvement begins. According to this wisely well-balanced viewpoint, economic growth is but a part of the real progress and is indubitably intertwined with every other aspect of governing the state, including politics, culture, religion, education, environment etc. To wit, a country beset with serious environmental issues will not take big strides in its development, since such issues have proven to imperil the everyday lives of people; water scarcity is a case in point which can affect agriculture and therefore even economy adversely. By the same token, environmental malpractice cannot be eradicated should enough awareness not be raised through quality education which in turn cannot be achieved in the absence of a nation who has achieved sufficient intellectual maturity to transcend near materialistic goals. In summary, although some governments may equate economic growth with real and irreversible progress, the fact remains that for a country to make real progress, they need to develop in every respect or else somewhere along the interrelated web of development, a weak link will throw a spanner into the wheel of improvement- an insight I hope the world will share collectively one day.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is at the heart of the manifesto of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as statesmen cast serious doubt on this stance saying that other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the significant.

There are those States who hold the opinion that affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is their
first
and foremost mission,
thus
putting every other state matter a second priority, if not a distant one.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
approach to governance
is predicated
on the principle that with the abundance of wealth will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a plethora of resources be it materialistic, educational, agricultural, environmental, HR etc.

A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach,
however
, maintains that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
will not materialize unless and until a more across-the-board and all-around type of improvement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
. According to this
wisely
well-balanced viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
and is
indubitably
intertwined with every other aspect of governing the state, including politics, culture, religion, education, environment etc. To wit, a country beset with serious environmental issues will not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
strides in its development, since such issues have proven to imperil the everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
; water scarcity is a case in point which can affect agriculture and
therefore
even economy
adversely
. By the same token, environmental malpractice cannot
be eradicated
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
awareness not
be raised
through quality education which in turn cannot
be achieved
in the absence of a nation who has achieved sufficient intellectual maturity to transcend near materialistic goals.

In summary, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may equate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
and irreversible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, the fact remains that for a country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, they need to develop in every respect or else somewhere along the interrelated web of development, a weak link will throw a spanner into the wheel of improvement- an insight I hope the world will share
collectively
one day.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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