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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.18

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 18
When it comes to weighing the importance of national progress, each government have different points of view. While there exists an idea that growing the economy is the most decisive factor, others opine that other measures of progress are just as vital. Personally, I agree with the latter idea. On the one hand, people in favor of economic development argue that it is truly beneficial to the prosperity of a country. Indeed, there are three compelling reasons for this claim. Firstly, once the economy is thriven, there will be an increase in national output meaning the production of more goods and services that satisfy the need of households; therefore, the living standard is improved. Secondly, economic progress results in wider jobs opportunities and a great reduction of unemployment. Finally, governments with a healthy economy will get higher tax revenues and subsequent more money to invest in public services. For example, a wealthy country can mobilize enough financial sources for road construction, education and health. On the other hand, I am on the side of people who assume that other types of growth are as important as aforementioned ones. Indeed, the peace of a country, the institution, the equality, also human rights should be taken into consideration. For instance, public security shows the effort of the government in protecting the harmony so that its citizen can live and develop, reflecting the level of progress of a nation. Moreover, this prosperity also consists in how a country protects the environment, and whether the environmental sustainability is on its aim, especially when today’s global issue is pollution abatement. Alternatively, the happiness of the populace and technological infrastructure should be considered as criteria for development evaluation. In conclusion, economic growth obviously plays an important role in the wealth of a country, however, other kinds of progress are also crucial to determine how successful it is.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to weighing the importance of national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view. While there exists an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that growing the economy is the most decisive factor, others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as vital.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in favor of economic development argue that it is
truly
beneficial to the prosperity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Indeed
, there are three compelling reasons for this claim.
Firstly
, once the economy is
Possible spelling mistake found.
thriven
, there will be an increase in national output meaning the production of more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services that satisfy the need of households;
therefore
, the living standard is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Secondly
, economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
results in wider jobs opportunities and a great reduction of unemployment.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
with a healthy economy will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher tax revenues and subsequent more money to invest in public services.
For example
, a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can mobilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
financial sources for road construction, education and health.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I am on the side of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of growth are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as aforementioned ones.
Indeed
, the peace of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the institution, the equality,
also
human rights should
be taken
into consideration.
For instance
, public security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the effort of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in protecting the harmony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that its citizen can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and develop, reflecting the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
of a nation.
Moreover
, this prosperity
also
consists in how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
protects the environment, and whether the environmental sustainability is on its aim,
especially
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s global issue is pollution abatement.
Alternatively
, the happiness of the populace and technological infrastructure should
be considered
as criteria for development evaluation.

In conclusion
, economic growth
obviously
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the wealth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
also
crucial to determine how successful it is.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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