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Many governments think that economic progress is their important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.2

Many governments think that economic progress is their important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2
Although Capitalist ideas support free commerce and competition, the domination of a few firms is a reality in certain industries. Despite the possible disadvantages of monopoly power, the benefits of them overcome the drawbacks. Firstly, monopolies are more likely to make higher profits, which can finance studies and researches related to the products. The positive results from studies can lead to the improvement of products, new technologies, and the reduction of costs to clients. For instance, Google, a monopoly in the search engine market, averaging a net share of 74. 54%, have been reinvesting millions in perfecting the system without passing the costs on to consumers. This means that developments such as Google’s Cloud Platform and speech processing algorithm advances would be affected if the company only had a small part of the market. Secondly, regarding the existence of monopolies in the pharmaceutical industry, patents are necessary to make costly researches attractive since it guarantees a better financial return. According to DiMasi, Grabowski, and Hansen (2016) an average of $1. 39 B must be spent to bring a drug to market in the US. The investment would be unreasonable if the profit resulted from the drug was shared with other companies; consequently, there may be less development of medical drugs. Finally, supernormal profits made by monopolies allow them to subsidise loss-making services. Instead of focusing on winning consumers from their competitors, monopolies can invest in loss-making services that benefit the population. To illustrate, if a train company has high profits due to peak hour services, they can offer late-running rides to a few users, even being unprofitable. To conclude, monopolies have a positive impact on society since they encourage research and development of new technologies and drugs. Moreover, they can have services focused on assisting the community and not only on increasing profits.
Although Capitalist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
support free commerce and competition, the domination of a few firms is a reality in certain industries. Despite the possible disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopoly
power, the benefits of them overcome the drawbacks.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopolies
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
, which can finance studies and researches related to the products. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results from studies can lead to the improvement of products, new technologies, and the reduction of costs to clients.
For instance
, Google, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopoly
in the search engine market, averaging a net share of 74. 54%, have been reinvesting millions in perfecting the system without passing the costs on to consumers. This means that developments such as Google’s Cloud Platform and speech processing algorithm advances would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of the market.

Secondly
, regarding the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopolies
in the pharmaceutical industry, patents are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
costly researches attractive since it guarantees a better financial return. According to
Possible spelling mistake found.
DiMasi
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grabowski
, and Hansen (2016) an average of $1. 39 B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spent
to bring a drug to market in the US. The investment would be unreasonable if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
resulted from the drug
was shared
with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
;
consequently
, there may be less development of medical drugs.

Finally
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
supernormal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopolies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
loss-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Instead
of focusing on winning consumers from their competitors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopolies
can invest in loss-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
that benefit the population. To illustrate, if a train
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
due to peak hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, they can offer late-running rides to a few users, even being unprofitable.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monopolies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society since they encourage research and development of new technologies and drugs.
Moreover
, they can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
focused on assisting the community and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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