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Many favourite athletes advertise different products. what are the advantage and disadvantages of this. v.2

Many favourite athletes advertise different products. what are the advantage and disadvantages of this. v. 2
Advertisement are suppose to be the form of mass communication. Presently, plethora of advertisements are endorse by eminent sports player and this trend gaining prevalence day by day. Here, I would like to account it' s positives along with it' s negatives. There are manifold advantages of this phenomenon. First and foremost, companies can boost the productivity by hiring players for distinct adverts. To illustrate, sports players can easily allure people towards products because athletes are the centre of attraction for them, people love to follow sports player. Therefore, people give more interest to those products which is endorse by prominent players. Moreover, this idea is lucrative for people, they can not only save their time but also keep themselves away from comparison in different product. They just need to purchase the product without more think about other products because the product is endorse by players. On the other side, opposite wind is also there. To begin with, initially, advertisement which is advertise by the athletes make people extravagant, To be specific, company exaggerate the product information and it has huge influence on people. As a result, they purchase things unnecessarily. Apart from it, this trend enhance the pollution level, people throw old things into landfill sites and buy new things. Hence, advertising which advertise by sports not only make people spendthrift but also increase the pollution level. To recapitulate, Undeniably, this trend has some benefits. However, still I believe that it has more cons than pros.
Advertisement are
Probably you should use a past participle here: "supposed".
suppose
to be the form of mass communication.
Presently
, plethora of advertisements are endorse by eminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
and this trend gaining prevalence day by day. Here, I would like to account
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s positives along with
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s negatives.

There are manifold advantages of this phenomenon.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can boost the productivity by hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
for distinct adverts. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
can
easily
allure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
athletes are the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of attraction for them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more interest to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which is
Consider using a past participle here: "endorsed".
endorse
by prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
Moreover
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is lucrative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves away from comparison in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
without more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
Consider using a past participle here: "endorsed".
endorse
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. On the other side, opposite wind is
also
there.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
initially
, advertisement which is
Consider using a past participle here: "advertised".
advertise
by the athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
extravagant, To be specific,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
exaggerate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
information and it has huge influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things
unnecessarily
. Apart from it,
The verb 'enhance' is plural. Did you mean: "this trend enhances"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this trend enhance
the pollution level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things into landfill sites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new things.
Hence
, advertising which advertise by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spendthrift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the pollution level.

To recapitulate,
Undeniably
, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
However
,
still
I believe that it has more cons than pros.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many favourite athletes advertise different products. what are the advantage and disadvantages of this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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