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Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. v. 1
Currently, when the borders between countries have gradually become blurred for the purpose of cultural and economic exchange, international cooperation has been reinforced within various industries. While some experts vote for world business, protection of environment is supported by others. To start with, one point which I believe to be vitally important is the fact that the establishment of the emission trade scheme hinges on multinational collaboration. It is generally accepted that some major pollutant countries endeavor to minimize their waste discharge by trading permits of emission with countries without such needs to emit toxic gas, which not only effectively curbs the proliferation of over-emission, but also strengthen the ties between the main polluters and other countries for the sake of balanced emission strategy. Furthermore, international collaboration plays a significant role in addressing severe environmental problems in the impoverished regions over the world. There is a wide range of source of funds dedicated by the affluent nations in order to facilitate the ecosystem campaign and the construction of essential infrastructures. Therefore, domestic environment indeed benefits from these international aids and donation. However, cross-border cooperation in terms of commerce and business has also contributed to the international market boom. One salient example of this is Apple company, apple, as the most creative and productive manufacturer of smartphones, implements its supply chain by utilizing Chinese labor. Apparently, there is no doubt that the labor and manufacturing cost will be reduced substantially. Thus, it can be clearly seen that multinational business highly profits from such collaboration, especially at the labor and intelligence level. In conclusion, I firmly believe that mutual effort among different nations is a key to succeed for both climate preservation and international trade. Since the Internet and digital devices tend to flourish, an increasing number of people as well as companies would take advantage of it and make tomorrow better.
Currently
, when the borders between
countries
have
gradually
become blurred for the purpose of cultural and economic exchange,
international
cooperation has
been reinforced
within various industries. While
some
experts vote for world business, protection of environment
is supported
by others.

To
start
with, one point which I believe to be
vitally
important
is the fact that the establishment of the emission trade scheme hinges on multinational collaboration. It is
generally
accepted
that
some
major pollutant
countries
endeavor to minimize their waste discharge by trading permits of emission with
countries
without such needs to emit toxic gas, which not
only
effectively
curbs the proliferation of over-emission,
but
also
strengthen the ties between the main polluters and other
countries
for the sake of balanced emission strategy.
Furthermore
,
international
collaboration plays a significant role in addressing severe environmental problems in the impoverished regions over the world. There is a wide
range of source
of funds dedicated by the affluent nations in order to facilitate the ecosystem campaign and the construction of essential infrastructures.
Therefore
, domestic environment
indeed
benefits from these
international
aids and donation.

However
, cross-border cooperation in terms of commerce and business has
also
contributed to the
international
market boom. One salient example of this is Apple
company
, apple, as the most creative and productive manufacturer of smartphones, implements its supply chain by utilizing Chinese labor.
Apparently
, there is no doubt that the labor and manufacturing cost will be
reduced
substantially
.
Thus
, it can be
clearly
seen
that multinational business
highly
profits from such collaboration,
especially
at the labor and intelligence level.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that mutual effort among
different
nations is a key to succeed for both climate preservation and
international
trade. Since the Internet and digital devices tend to flourish, an increasing number of
people
as well
as
companies
would take advantage of it and
make
tomorrow better.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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