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3. Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

3. Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Improving the standard living based on the economic development is going to be popular in majority countries, which leads to loss of social values. However, some light on its benefits and drawbacks on economic advancement would be discussed in this essay. There are several advantages from having rapid economic growth to fulfil human needs. First and foremost, it could increase the consumption of goods and services which is related to utility, so in theory, with higher consumption levels, there is greater prosperity. Moreover, public services for society would be improved, including the health and education. It can be said that the government could provide the highest quality for health care by treating disease and assuring life expectancy. Also, improving the educational standards could contribute the population a great diversity of skills and literacy. By this means, economic development becomes essential to the most countries for the welfare and happiness. Nonetheless, every coin has two sides and despite all the advantages of developed economies, there are some disadvantages too. People argue that this could lead to the loss of social values because high economic growth is directly creating injustice among poor and rich community. This imbalance would partially impact to the social discrepancy. Besides, the humanity and morality also would be lower since they only depend on materialistic that refer to disrespectful to the poor member. For instance, the wealthy community could not have any tolerance to build relationship, such as helping the poor people as one of social values too, other than economic aspect. By way of conclusion, the dominance of economic value for standard living, including the increment of consumption and public services that are needed by a number of countries, have not more long run value than humanity and moral cost. I believe that the benefits of economic growth could merely belong to the rich community, and it is not assuring the poorer individuals to have the prosperity too.
Improving the standard living based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development is going to be popular in majority countries, which leads to loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on its benefits and drawbacks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advancement would
be discussed
in this essay.

There are several advantages from having rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth to fulfil human needs.
First
and foremost, it could increase the consumption of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services which
is related
to utility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in theory, with higher consumption levels, there is greater prosperity.
Moreover
, public services for society would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, including the health and education. It can
be said
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could provide the highest quality for health care by treating disease and assuring life expectancy.
Also
, improving the educational standards could contribute the population a great diversity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and literacy. By this means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development becomes essential to the most countries for the welfare and happiness.

Nonetheless, every coin has two sides and despite all the advantages of developed economies, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that this could lead to the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is
directly
creating injustice among poor and rich community. This imbalance would
partially
impact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
discrepancy.
Besides
, the humanity and morality
also
would be lower since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on materialistic that refer
Did you mean "too disrespectful to"?
to disrespectful to
the poor member.
For instance
, the wealthy community could not have any tolerance to build relationship, such as helping the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values too, other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
aspect.

By way of conclusion, the dominance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
for standard living, including the increment of consumption and public services that
are needed
by a number of countries, have not more long run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
than humanity and moral cost. I believe that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth could
merely
belong to the rich community, and it is not assuring the poorer individuals to have the prosperity too.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay 3. Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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