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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree? v.8

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 8
Governments are often found spending vastly on preserving wildlife, while there are other concerning issues that need immediate attention. I would agree with the argument that there are other critical matters to be addressed other than wildlife protection. To begin with, one of the most concerning problems of the time is climate change which has significantly raised the earth’s temperature. This has led our planet to face extreme weather conditions that are suitable for neither humans nor animals. Moreover. Due to high temperatures around the globe, some countries are under the threat of flooding as glaciers are melting much faster than ever. For example, Venice has been flooded recently due to increasing sea levels. Therefore, governments should divert their resources towards mitigating the risks of climate change. Besides climate change, lack of essential healthcare is another alarming issue to be tackled. According to the World Health Organization (WHO) half of the world lacks basic health services. In other words, a majority of people do not have access to primary health care. In some countries, children lose their lives or become disabled as a result of diseases that can be prevented by proper and timely vaccinations. For example, every year, thousands of children become the victim of polio due to non-vaccination in their early childhood. States ought to provide enough resources to ensure the availability of basic health services to the general public. In conclusion, while other people’s opinion may vary, in my opinion, governments should allocate more resources towards primary issues such as climate change and healthcare rather than on other secondary ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found spending
vastly
on preserving wildlife, while there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
concerning issues that need immediate attention. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
critical matters to
be addressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than wildlife protection.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most concerning problems of the time is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which has
significantly
raised the earth’s temperature. This has led our planet to face extreme weather conditions that are suitable for neither humans nor animals.
Moreover
. Due to high temperatures around the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are under the threat of flooding as glaciers are melting much faster than ever.
For example
, Venice has
been flooded
recently due to increasing sea levels.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should divert their resources towards mitigating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, lack of essential healthcare is another alarming issue to
be tackled
. According to the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization (WHO) half of the world lacks basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have access to primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, children lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
or become disabled
as a result
of diseases that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by proper and timely vaccinations.
For example
, every year, thousands of children become the victim of polio due to non-vaccination in their early childhood. States ought to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to ensure the availability of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion may vary, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should allocate more resources towards primary issues such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and healthcare
rather
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
secondary ones.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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