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Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v.1

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 1
The need to care for the elderly is gradually increasing. As a result of this, their family members have found an alternative by keeping them in care homes. I consider this beneficial owing to the convenience it offers to the folks and the professionalism in handling them it brings. However, there are some drawbacks which need to be taken into account. Firstly, a major benefit of care home is the convenience it offers. This is because, taking care of the elderly is quite time demanding in terms of attention and care. With nursing homes, one does not need to worry about the day to day routine and medications to be administered, which is greatly preferred by career people. Another point to consider is the professional touch the care home presents. These homes have staffs that have been trained for this purpose and therefore know the best way to take care of them. On the other hand, a crucial issue with care homes is the level of care they give to their subjects. Even though they have the expertise and are in the best position to provide this care, some do so nonchalantly because they are not directly supervised by the families of the elderly. More so, the elderly are often times exposed to drugs that have not been prescribed by a medical practitioner. Some care homes give depressants to them in order to lessen their workload, which can consequently affect their well being. An example of this is when the sleeping medicine is given to them to make them sleep longer. In conclusion, while care homes or nursing homes are beneficial in so many ways, people should also be cautious of the health dangers it comes with.
The need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is
gradually
increasing.
As a result
of this, their family members have found an alternative by keeping them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. I consider this beneficial owing to the convenience it offers to the folks and the professionalism in handling them it brings.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which need to
be taken
into account.

Firstly
, a major benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home is the convenience it offers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is quite time demanding in terms of attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. With nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, one does not need to worry about the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
routine and medications to
be administered
, which is
greatly
preferred by career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another point to consider is the professional touch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home presents. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have staffs that have
been trained
for this purpose and
therefore
know the best way to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them.

On the other hand
, a crucial issue with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
they give to their subjects.
Even though
they have the expertise and are in the best position to provide this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nonchalantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
directly
supervised by the families of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times exposed to drugs that have not
been prescribed
by a medical practitioner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
give depressants to them in order to lessen their workload, which can
consequently
affect their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. An example of this is when the sleeping medicine is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them sleep longer.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
or nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
also
be cautious of the health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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