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Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v.1

Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 1
Many people believe that it is advantageous for kids to grow up in cities, whereas others argue that countrysides are better. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of growing up in a city and countryside. Focusing on the cities, one significant advantage is that they have well-equipped schools. Schools in cities often leverage the technology to help their students excel. For instance, many institutions are using video lectures to help students to easily grasp concepts, as it is easier to understand through visuals than by vocal teaching. Also, teachers in these schools are usually professionals, who are trained to understand the demands of the children. However, studying in cities can also present some disadvantages, one obvious drawback is pressure. This is because, most schools in cities focus only on studies, but do not concentrate on sports unlike with the institutions in countryside. As a result, children are overworked, which can affect their physical and mental health. On the other hand, institutions in the countryside depend on a rather balanced curriculum. To clarify, they focus equally on both sports and studies, which can reduce the pressure on students. Furthermore, countrysides also have better environmental conditions that can benefit the overall health of the children. Nevertheless, there are certainly negatives pertaining to growing up in the countryside, such as the schools are not standard compared to those in cities. As the teachers recruited are mostly not professionally trained, the kids are not taught properly. To conclude, although cities provide the benefits of better schooling, drawbacks of increased pressure should also be considered.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is advantageous for kids to grow up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, whereas others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
are better. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of growing up in a city and countryside.

Focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, one significant advantage is that they have well-equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leverage the technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their students excel.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutions are using video lectures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to
easily
grasp concepts, as it is easier to understand through visuals than by vocal teaching.
Also
, teachers in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
usually
professionals, who
are trained
to understand the demands of the children.
However
, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
also
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, one obvious drawback is pressure. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not concentrate on sports unlike with the institutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
As a result
, children
are overworked
, which can affect their physical and mental health.

On the other hand
, institutions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
depend on a
rather
balanced curriculum. To clarify, they focus
equally
on both sports and studies, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on students.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
also
have better environmental conditions that can benefit the
overall
health of the children.
Nevertheless
, there are
certainly
negatives pertaining to growing up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not standard compared to those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As the teachers recruited are
mostly
not
professionally
trained, the kids are not taught
properly
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide the benefits of better schooling, drawbacks of increased pressure should
also
be considered
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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