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Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree? v.3

Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 3
A correct and balanced diet is a fundamental form to improve the healthiness, it's the better manner to avoid critical pathology such as obesity and diabetes, but it's also a good way to feel good with own self, especially on a mental aspect, not surprisingly Romans says "Mens Sana in corpore sano". One of the most famous dietary approach, is the Mediterrean diet that is diffused in Italy, Spain and the other countries that face to Mediterrean Sea, and it consists of a balanced diet with the correct supply of carbohydrates, protein and grass, that is based on the consumption of pasta, meat and a lot of vegetables and fruit. A lot of experts in dietetics praise this diet for its completeness and its capacity to improve in a several way heath of patience that decide to follow this food philosophy. Obviously it isn't the only diet that is a good choice to maintain a good lifestyle, but all the recommended diets found their philosophy on the "Aliment Pyramid" that is structured in the fundament with all foodstuffs that have to be consumed in high quantity, such as vegetables and fruits, and on the top food that have to avoid in our diets or we have to assume in rare occasion, as cake, extremely fatty food etc. In synthesis good alimentation is a very important factor of a good lifestyle, and this with a lot of physical exercise is the best medicine to prevent all the risk factors for youth and to fight these problems in later time.
A correct and balanced diet is a fundamental form to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the healthiness, it's the better manner to avoid critical pathology such as obesity and diabetes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self,
especially
on a mental aspect, not
surprisingly
Romans says
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mens
Sana in
Possible spelling mistake found.
corpore
Possible spelling mistake found.
sano
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
dietary approach, is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mediterrean
diet that
is diffused
in Italy, Spain and the other countries that face to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mediterrean
Sea, and it consists of a balanced diet with the correct supply of carbohydrates, protein and grass, that
is based
on the consumption of pasta, meat and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
vegetables and fruit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
experts in dietetics praise this diet for its completeness and its capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Consider replacing "in a several way" with the adverb for "several"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a several way
heath of patience that decide to follow this food philosophy.

Obviously
it isn't the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diet
that is
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
choice to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all the recommended diets found their philosophy on the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Aliment Pyramid
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
that
is structured
in the fundament with all foodstuffs that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be consumed
in high quantity, such as vegetables and fruits, and on the top food that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid in our
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diets or
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
assume in rare occasion, as cake,
extremely
fatty food etc.

In synthesis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
alimentation is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
lifestyle, and this with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical exercise is the best medicine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factors for youth and to fight these problems in later time.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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