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Many elderly people are are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v.2

Many elderly people are are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 2
In recent years, more senior citizens are being placed in retirement homes by their relatives instead of caring for them by themselves. Although this trend has some upsides such as giving family members the time to take care of their own needs and ensuring that the appropriate care is given to these individuals, it also has some downsides. On the one hand, placing advanced family members in care homes has some benefits. Firstly, it allows their relatives who cater for them the opportunity to attend to their personal concerns. Since caring for the aged may be time consuming, seeking the services of these institutions creates time to attend to other pursuits such as a career, spouse or child. Secondly, these centers are equipped to provide specialized care for the aged. Old age is often accompanied by health problems requiring expert care which can be received in these homes for the elderly. On the other hand, admitting aged relatives into these establishments has some demerits. One of such drawbacks is that being separated from their families and familiar surroundings may lead to depression for such ones. That is to say, they may experience difficulties adjusting to a new environment and this will likely take an emotional toll on them. Another problem associated with this trend is that it may cause estrangement among the family members involved. This is because these aged individuals may grow resentful towards their relatives, attributing being placed in a care home to abandonment. To sum up, placing old members of the family in care homes has some merits. However, the extreme sadness experienced by those placed in homes for the aged, along with the rift it creates between relatives are important minus points to considered.
In recent years, more senior citizens are
being placed
in retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
instead
of caring for them by themselves. Although this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
upsides such as giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
the time to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs and ensuring that the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to these individuals, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides.

On the one hand, placing advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
who cater for them the opportunity to attend to their personal concerns. Since caring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
may be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
, seeking the services of these institutions creates time to attend to other pursuits such as a career, spouse or child.
Secondly
, these centers
are equipped
to provide specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
accompanied by health problems requiring expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
which can
be received
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the elderly.

On the other hand
, admitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
into these establishments has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits. One of such drawbacks is that
being separated
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and familiar surroundings may lead to depression for such ones.
That is
to say, they may experience difficulties adjusting to a new environment and this will likely take an emotional toll on them. Another problem associated with this trend is that it may cause estrangement among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
involved. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
individuals may grow resentful towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
, attributing
being placed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home to abandonment.

To sum up, placing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits.
However
, the extreme sadness experienced by those placed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
, along with the rift it creates between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
minus points to considered.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many elderly people are are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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