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Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced? v.6

Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced? v. 6
With the invent of the internet, e-shopping has become much more popularised and customers are availing their products while sitting in their comfort zone. The merits of this trend are widely appraised, although sometimes it has been criticised by a few. To commence with the chief cause, shopping online provides a diverse range of benefits to its customers, ranging from furniture, cookery and clothing it can extend up to technological products. A user has a wide range of options, even on a single product, which is not available offline. For instance, results bestowing to a survey conducted in 2019, showed that the trade of e-commerce had increased significantly, and will continue to rise in the next consecutive years. Additionally, entrepreneurs can sell their recently launched products very easily, and purchasers can avail it from any corner of the country, as home delivery is one of the most benefitting features of this trade. Moreover, additional discounts can be made on most of the stock items. Another feature of web shopping is that as individual buys it directly from the manufacturer, third party costs are exempted. However, it has some minor drawbacks also. A few times, images of the products can be misleading and customers usually do not get what they have sorted, while sometimes the bought products lack authenticity. Nevertheless, consumers can discuss their purchased item flaws in customer care, and can even get a partial to a full refund on those commodities. In conclusion, online shopping is the trend which is widely popularised, although sometimes there can be minor flaws, these can be corrected.
With the
invent
of the internet, e-shopping has become much more
popularised
and
customers
are availing their
products
while sitting in their comfort zone. The merits of this trend are
widely
appraised, although
sometimes
it has been
criticised
by a few.

To commence with the chief cause, shopping online provides a diverse range of benefits to its
customers
, ranging from furniture, cookery and clothing it can extend up to technological
products
. A user has a wide range of options, even on a single
product
, which is not available offline.
For instance
, results bestowing to a survey conducted in 2019,
showed
that the trade of e-commerce had increased
significantly
, and will continue to rise in the
next
consecutive years.

Additionally
, entrepreneurs can sell their recently launched
products
very
easily
, and purchasers can avail it from any corner of the country, as home delivery is one of the most
benefitting
features of this trade.
Moreover
, additional discounts can
be made
on most of the stock items. Another feature of web shopping is that as individual
buys
it
directly
from the manufacturer, third party costs
are exempted
.

However
, it has
some
minor drawbacks
also
. A few times, images of the
products
can be misleading and
customers
usually
do not
get
what they have sorted, while
sometimes
the
bought
products
lack authenticity.
Nevertheless
, consumers can discuss their
purchased
item flaws in
customer
care, and can even
get
a partial to a full refund on those commodities.

In conclusion
, online shopping is the trend which is
widely
popularised
, although
sometimes
there can be minor flaws, these can
be corrected
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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