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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v.1

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v. 1
These days, many poorer countries are focusing their efforts on developing and promoting their tourism industries. There are some reasons for this, and I believe this can be a positive development, despite numerous drawbacks that can arise. Personally, I believe that the primary reason for developing tourism in a country is due to the economic benefits that it brings. A well-developed tourism industry creates a lot of new businesses and jobs for local people, and an influx of money from foreign tourists. In addition to this, promoting international tourism can help to improve international relations with other countries, and to share a country’s customs and culture with people all around the world. Many people these days are interested in learning about different cultures and ways of living, and tourism helps to facilitate this experience. However, there are a number of drawbacks that arise from the expansion of a country’s tourism industry. For example, in many countries in South East Asia, tourism has been a major cause of environmental pollution and destruction. For example, most tourists generally drink bottled water when on holiday, and this creates mountains of plastic waste every year. Many developing countries do not have appropriate recycling facilities and do not know how to deal with the waste, and therefore, it commonly ends up littered throughout the countryside, rivers, seas, beaches and oceans. Furthermore, the invasion of tourists into certain places can disrupt the local wildlife and ecosystems, causing further environmental damage. In conclusion, I would have to say that expanding the tourism industry in a country is a positive development if it is properly managed, and the environmental and cultural impacts are closely monitored and minimised.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are focusing their
The word 'efforts' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
efforts
on developing and promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this, and I believe this can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, despite numerous drawbacks that can arise.

Personally
, I believe that the primary reason for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is due to the economic benefits that it brings. A well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new businesses and jobs for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and an
The word 'influx' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
influx
of money from foreign tourists.
In addition
to this, promoting international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
international relations with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and to share a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
customs and culture with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days
are interested
in learning about
The word 'different' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
different
cultures and ways of living, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to facilitate this experience.

However
, there are a number of drawbacks that arise from the expansion of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in South East Asia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has been a major cause of environmental pollution and destruction.
For example
, most tourists
generally
drink bottled water when on holiday, and this creates mountains of plastic waste every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have appropriate recycling facilities and do not know how to deal with the waste, and
therefore
, it
commonly
ends up littered throughout the countryside, rivers, seas, beaches and oceans.
Furthermore
, the invasion of tourists into certain places can disrupt the local wildlife and ecosystems, causing
further
environmental damage.

In conclusion
, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that expanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development if it is
properly
managed, and the environmental and cultural impacts are
closely
monitored and
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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