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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. v.6

Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. Personally, I completely disagree with this view. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to reduce taxes for families who pay for private education. Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for these families, and staff would be required to manage this complex process. Secondly, we all pay a certain amount of tax for public services that we may not use. For example, most people are fortunate enough not to have to call the police or fire brigade at any time in their lives, but they would not expect a tax reduction for this. Finally, if wealthy families were given a tax discount for sending their children to private schools, we might have a situation where poorer people pay higher taxes than the rich. In my opinion, we should all be happy to pay our share of the money that supports public schools. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a high quality education system with equal opportunities for all young people. This will result in a well-educated workforce, and in turn a more productive and prosperous nation. Parents of children in private schools may also see the advantages of this in their own lives. For example, a company owner will need well qualified and competent staff, and a wellfunded education system can provide such employees. In conclusion, I do not believe that any financial concessions should be made for people who choose private education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that parents of children who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schools

should not need to contribute to state schools through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Personally
,

I completely disagree with this view.

For a variety of reasons, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for families

who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, it would be difficult to calculate the

correct amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
reduction for these families, and staff would
be required
to manage this complex process.
Secondly
, we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a certain

amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for public services that we may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, most

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are fortunate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
not to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
call the police or fire brigade

at any time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
reduction for

this.
Finally
, if wealthy families were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
discount for sending their

children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schools, we might have a situation where poorer

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
than the rich.

In my opinion, we should all be happy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
our share of the money that

supports public schools. It is beneficial for all members of society to have

a high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system with equal opportunities for all young

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This will result in a well-educated workforce, and in turn a more

productive and prosperous nation. Parents of children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schools

may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages of this in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, a

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
owner will need well qualified and competent staff, and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellfunded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system can provide such employees.

In conclusion
, I do not believe that any financial concessions should
be made
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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