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Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v.4

Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v. 4
Tourism plays a vital role in most of the country's economy. In the contemporary world, regulatory bodies, persuade the entities that are involved in this phenomenon. This essay will discuss the advantages and also the disadvantages of this trend. There are numerous important benefits which can be gained from tourism. Firstly, local authorities will be able to earn vast amounts of money from these holidaymakers. For example, the price of the packages that are available for the tourist will be higher, when compared to the packages available for locals. Secondly, based on the nature of this business, there will be new job openings for citizens of the country. For instance, most of the people tend to rent their own house for these commuters for a short period of time with the idea of earning money. In short, all these benefits would arise based on tourism and the government should take necessary actions to maintain the quality of this sector. Despite the benefits, there are some drawbacks that associate with tourism. Mainly, some factors that can create an impact on the nation's cultural values. Such as clothes that most of the tourists use to wear while they travelling are not suitable for some places and that can lead to disrespect and may create conflicts. In addition, there is a possibility of spreading ailments because of this tourism. For example, one of the contributing factors of the virus spreading has been known as tourism. Overall, these drawbacks can create a negative effect on its own country and authorities should monitor closely. This essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of promoting tourism in countries. Even though, tourism recourse to gain foreign exchange to a country with including more benefits, the drawbacks that arise should not be overlooked.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
plays a vital role in most of the country's economy. In the contemporary world, regulatory bodies, persuade the entities that
are involved
in this phenomenon. This essay will discuss the advantages and
also
the disadvantages of this trend.

There are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
which can
be gained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Firstly
, local authorities will be able to earn vast amounts of money from these holidaymakers.
For example
, the price of the packages that are available for the tourist will be higher, when compared to the packages available for locals.
Secondly
, based on the nature of this business, there will be new job openings for citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to rent their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for these commuters for a short period of time with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of earning money. In short, all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
would arise based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take necessary actions to maintain the quality of this sector.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that associate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Mainly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that can create an impact on the nation's cultural values. Such as clothes that most of the tourists
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
wear while
Did you mean "they're travelling", "they are travelling", or "they were travelling"?
they travelling
are not suitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places and that can lead to disrespect and may create conflicts.
In addition
, there is a possibility of spreading ailments
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
For example
, one of the contributing factors of the virus spreading has
been known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Overall
, these drawbacks can create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and authorities should monitor
closely
.

This essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
recourse to gain foreign exchange to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with including more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, the drawbacks that arise should not
be overlooked
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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