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Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v.2

Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v. 2
So many countries at present day are normally involved with tourism. One of the major income source of some countries is the travel such as Sri Lanka, Vietnam, Singapore and Thailand. These countries encourage people to engage with tourist industry. There are different type of tourist systems instance for agro-tourism, eco-tourism, tourist for education and traditional tourism. The government of the country is expected development through this industry. They believe, this sector can generate lots of job opportunities for people who live in rural areas. These days, eco-tourism and agro-tourism are much more popular. According to my point of view, tourism can be generated the pros and also cons. First, I like to discuss disadvantages that come with tourism. Local tourist and foreign tourist have played a dominant role in this sector. Specially foreign visitors attract with nature, adventure and entertainment. As a result of, Environmental pollution can be happen. Because, they throw about their waste. Another one is cultural degradation. Foreign culture and tradition is mixed with local fashion, hence local environment gradually becomes a hybrid. Instance for, now the Ella town of Sri Lanka has hybrid culture. We can't observe traditional look and culture in there. Another major problem is diseases. Diseases may be spread through tourism. Example for AIDS, Ebola and Corona like virus are closely dealing with sector, hence encouraging tourism can be affected badly on society. In other hand, It can generate lots of advantages. In Sri Lanka have lots of small scale and large scale industries that depend on tourism, Instance for hotels at beach sides and small restaurants in the rural areas. Rural people organize several activities which attract strange and local people. Example for, camping, hiking likewise. Those activities are helping to extract money from overseas. In conclusion, travel should be developed in the country within rules and regulations. If it develops with good direction tourism will generate always advantages than disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at present day are
normally
involved with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. One of the major income source of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is the travel such as Sri Lanka, Vietnam, Singapore and Thailand. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
systems instance for
Possible spelling mistake found.
agro-tourism
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-tourism
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
for education and traditional tourism.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
development through this industry. They believe, this sector can generate lots of job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural areas. These days,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-tourism
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
agro-tourism
are much more popular. According to my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
be generated
the pros and
also
cons.

First
, I like to discuss disadvantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
have played a dominant role in this sector.
Specially
foreign visitors attract with nature, adventure and entertainment.
As a result
of, Environmental pollution can be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they throw about their waste. Another one is cultural degradation. Foreign culture and tradition
is mixed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
fashion,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
environment
gradually
becomes a hybrid. Instance for,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the Ella town of Sri Lanka has hybrid culture. We can't observe traditional look and culture in there. Another major problem is diseases. Diseases may
be spread
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. Example for AIDS, Ebola and Corona like virus are
closely
dealing with sector,
hence
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
on society.

In other hand, It can generate lots of advantages. In Sri Lanka have lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale and large scale industries that depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, Instance for hotels at beach sides and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
restaurants in the rural areas. Rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize several activities which attract strange and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Example for, camping, hiking
likewise
. Those activities are helping to extract money from overseas.

In conclusion
, travel should
be developed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
it develops with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
direction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will generate always advantages than disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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